Grace Every Day

"I have a dream"

2010-05-07T09:41:00.000-07:00

Today was the last day of my History class. And we were talking... well, the Professor was talking and I was thinking, about racism. He was talking about how he believed racism still exhists today in America, but that we so far have come a long way towards being truly an integrated society.

He showed us tons of images of black Americans who were beaten hung and even burned alive after the Civil War. They were horrific images. And I can hardly think of them now without getting sick. The absolute cruelty and gross injustice is enough to make me literally sick. What must those people have been thinking who were standing all around. Granted maybe most didn't take part in the actual lynching but they were there! They were watching.

And God pricked my heart to the core about Abortion. It is the present day form of racism, and even worse than what happened to the black Americans (even anything could be worse). When I think of the numerous "methods" of abortion, they are worse than the hanging and the burning alive. And yet those being aborted have no way to defend themselves nor to speak for their freedom. The people who are aborted cannot march on Washington as the black Americans did in 1963.

America, as God has judged you for slavary so will He judge you for abortion. As we once denied a different race human rights to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" so have we denied our own races the right to LIFE, let alone liberty and hapiness.

I asked myself as I saw those grotesque images of the black Americans being burned alive, how could such a thing happen? In those days people convinced themselves that black people were not only another race but another species intirely that lacked a soul. The Germans too were convinced that Jews were without soul as well. This idea of souless bodies allowed every type of cruelty, maltreatment and ultimately murder of human beings. Today Americans have convinced themselves that a child in the womb has not a soul, and every type of cruelty, maltreatment and ultimately murder has befallen that child who is left without protection or even a voice with which to protest.

So what does this have to do with me? By Gods grace and mercy, I have never committed abortion. I have told people how I feel about the subject and I have gone on LIFE walks. I have heard that the sins of a country are a picture of the Christians in that country. The sin of abortion would be murder, or hatred. It would also be the sin of idol worship, or of valueing the world, temporal things, etc, more than we value the Creator. Both of these sins I can see in my life and it is time to wage war against these sins. How I do this?

Repentance, concluding that God is right and I am wrong, turning from my wrong ways. Repent from these sins and draw close to the Lord through obedience and faith in His Word. The fruit of this I am convinced will be the abolition of abortion. For when God is God in the lives of saints, real love rules not hatred. A love willing to rebuke wickedness at all costs and embrace righteousness at all costs. And also God's Lordship brings humilty and breaks apart selfish idolatry. His Lorship will cause saints to surrender their own plans, loves, and desires for the work and glory of God.

"Listen to me, O house of Jacob, all the remnant of the house of Israel, who have been borne by me from before your birth, carried from the womb; even to your old age I am he, and to gray hairs will I carry you. I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save.
To whom will you liken me and make me equal, and compare me, that we may be alike?
Those who lavish gold from the purse, and weight out silver in the scales, hire a goldsmith, and he makes it into a god; then they fall down and worship! They lift it to their sholders, they carry it, they set it in its place, and it stands there; it cannot move from its place.
If one cries to it, it does not answer or save him from his trouble.
Remember this and stand firm, recall it to mind, you transgressors, remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying 'My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose,' calling a bird of prey from the east, the man of my counsel from a far country. I have spoken, and I will bring it to pass; I have purposed, and I will do it.
Listen to me, you stubborn of heart, you who are far from righteousness; I bring near my righteousness; it is not far off, and my salvation will not delay; I will put salvation in Zion, for Israel my glory." -Isaiah 46:3-13

Pics

2010-04-18T12:17:00.001-07:00

These are some of the pictures I drew recently... I will put some captions on this sometime when I don't have a test for which to study. :-) Happy Sunday all!

Am I a Soldier?

2010-04-17T20:39:00.000-07:00

My least favorite class this semester has been history class... but I must say that I have learned far more than I expected to in this class. My professor doesn't give his three hour lectures on how bad the church is anymore, instead he plugs in three hour PBS documentaries on early American History. There are times I confess I have almost fell asleep, and I know that is really rude, so I started to practice drawing on the subjects that we are learning about. That helped me focus a lot better on the subject matter (believe it or not. i am becoming quite the multi-tasker)... and I get to spend three hours a week drawing.

Besides learning how to make the eyes on a head look more realistic I am also learning other things. Last week we were studying the Civil War and one person who was famous really stuck out to me.

General "Stonewall" Jackson really caught my attention. I always knew that he was a devout man but not much more than that. God has used Jackson's testimony to teach me about being a soldier of the Lord.

Jackson was not well loved by his soldiers, but they were loyal to him because he won battles. He was an extremely strict disciplinarian. One of his officers said, "Jackson would have a man shot at the drop of a hat, and usually he drops the hat." He also believed that you didn't "fight" your enemy you "crushed" your enemy. He was an observer of the Sabbath. While Jackson would fight battles on a Sunday he would "observe" the Sabbath on another day of the week. :-) Jackson was nicknamed "Stonewall" because he stood like a stone wall before his enemies and the most fearsome of circumstances. His men reported that he had absolutely no fear of death. This fact about Jackson struck me the most.

Jackson's testimony of his devotion to the Lord (even when it wasn't convenient, or attractive), the way in which he fought (not toying with the enemey but destroying it) and his lack of fear of death really encouraged and challenged me. Through this class the Lord has really opened my eyes to some sins that I had not really considered before taking this class. There have been times at work when it wasn't convenient to tell people about what the Lord was doing in my life through difficult circumstances about which they asked. Also in dealing with sin that the Lord has pointed out to me, I noticed that I have been almost toying with it in the way I "fight" it. I have not been putting my sin to death with "crushing" blows. Lastly, and one of the most convicting, I have feared death, not physical death, but death to myself, death to my life, my plans, my way. I have feared and not trusted the Lord. Jackson's testimony reminded me that there is no fear in giving ones life to the Lord and to His service. He will care for me, but I must surrender to Him and bow my will to His supreme authority. Oh for grace to trust Him more. He has given me grace to be an obedient and good soldier, now I must seize it.

All through my class I remembered that song "Am I a Soldier of the Cross." And throughout this week I will continue to remember this song and this question. Am I truly siding with the Lord, and fighting with Him and not against Him? Am I being a good soldier of the Cross?

Jackson's testimony was so good to hear. Once again, thank You God for this history class and this history professor! It has been an EXCELLENT semester... one of the best yet.

"This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth... Wherefore doth a living man complain, a man for the punishment of his sins? Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the LORD. Let us lift up our heart with [our] hands unto God in the heavens." Lamentations 3:21-41

I am expecting some harsh critizism from you, my friends, for drawing in class instead of taking notes. So please don't dissapoint me!

Hope you have a wonderful week! God bless you guys!

In Christ Alone Will I Glory

2010-04-14T11:01:00.000-07:00

In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I’ve been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone I’ll overcome
Oh, I could stop and count successes like diamonds in my hands
But those trophies could not equal to the grace by which I stand

In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone

In Christ alone do I glory
For only by His grace I am redeemed
For only His tender mercy
Could reach beyond my weakness to my need
And now I seek no greater honor in just to know Him more
And to count my gains but losses to the glory of my Lord

In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone

In Christ alone will I glory! Studying John 18 and 19. It was amazing to see Pilate struggle so much to show the Jews that he was on their side. He knew who Christ was, but he was afraid of the crowd and afraid of losing his position of "power". Our Lord will be victorious in this battle between good and evil. And there is no fear of man for God created man. There is no fear of losing our positions because our glory is not found here on earth, but it is found in Christ alone! I can trust Him fully!

I love the line in this song, "I seek no other honor than just to know Him more. And count my gains but losses to the glory of the Lord." It is such an honor to know the Lord more and more! That coupled with "losses" that bring the Savior glory are sufficient blessings to make me a truly happy woman!

Living for Jesus

2010-04-07T09:01:00.000-07:00

2 Corinthians 5:14-15 " For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this; that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those that live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised."

We were saved from HAVING to live for ourselves. That really goes against the grain of my natural thinking. But the truth from the Word of God is that living for Him is not only better than living for ourselves, but living for ourselves is something that we have/had to be rescued from... as in, it is a really bad thing. :-)

Matthew 10:39 "He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it

BEAUTIFUL DAY!

2010-04-03T10:24:00.000-07:00

Today is the eve of the rising of our Christ! It is a wonderful day full hope and expectation of things to come. It is the eve of the consumation of the hope we have in the Father. It is the day from which our salvation comes.

I love Easter best of all the holidays, and I love it more and more every year. This morning I was listening to John Piper's sermon to professors who work at seminaries. I have listened to it several times and it always cuts me to the heart with conviction, in the most painful and yet effective way. :-) Pastor Piper speaks of the single most important thing that students must learn and it is this: "To know God better than I know anything else, and to delight in God more than I delight in anything else."

This Easter I am praying this for all my friends, for all my family, and for myself... I might just pray this for my enemies too. :-) This is one of the most exciting Easter's I have ever had, for I know that God will work mightily in behalf of His people and for His glory in this year of our Lord, and Savior!

Let us study to know Him and labour to enjoy Him more than anything in this world! Amen!

Happy Easter!

Firm Foundation

2010-03-31T07:30:00.000-07:00

"Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation: and thy right hand hath holden me up, and thy gentleness hath made me great." - Psalm 18:5

"By thee have I been holden up from the womb: thou art he that took me out of my mother's bowels: my praise shall be continually of thee." - Psalm 71:6

"Who art thou that judgest another man's servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand." -Romans 14:4

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." -2 Corinthians 12:9-10

I understand these verses so much better! His strength is made perfect in my huge and multiple weaknesses, and I finally know how firm this Foundation really is! It is unmovable; He will not let me fall into the hands of the Enemy. If I am put in the fire, so to speak, continually for the rest of my days, I will not be consumed for the Lord is with me and He cannot be consumed... He isn't combustable. LOL! It is a great day to know Him and be known by Him.

May you too know the Lord's strength and power in your life, and may you enjoy Him all the more!

Psalm 118

2010-03-29T17:52:00.000-07:00

Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!
2. Let Israel now say, "His steadfast love endures forever."
3. Let the house of Aaron say, "His steadfast love endures forever."
4. Let those who fear the LORD say, "His steadfast love endures forever."
5. Out of my distress I called on the LORD; the LORD answered me and set me free.
6. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?
7. The LORD is on my side as my helper; I shall look in triumph on those who hate me.
8. It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man.
9. It is better to take refuge in the lORD than to trust in princes.
10. All nations surrounded me; in the name of the LORD I cut them off!
11. They surrounded me, surrounded me on every side; in the name of the LORD I cut them off!
12. They surrounded me like bees; they went out like a fire among thorns; in the name of the LORD I cut them off!
13. I was pushed hard, so that I was falling, but the LORD helped me.
14. The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.
15. Glad songs of salvation are in the tents of the righteous; The right hand of the LORD does valiantly,
16. the right hand of the LORD exalts, the right hand of the LORD does valiantly!
17. I shall not die but I shall live and recount the deeds of the LORD.
18. The LORD has disciplined me severely but he has not given me over to death.
19. Open to me the gates of righteousness, that I may enter through them and give thanks to the LORD.
20. This is the gate of the LORD; the righteous shall enter through it.
21. I thank you that you have answered me and have become my salvation.
22. The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone.
23. This is the LORD's doing; it is marvelous in our eyes.
24. This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.
25. Save us, we pray, O LORD! O LORD, we pray, give us success!
26. Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD! We bless you from the house of the LORD.
27. The LORD is God, and he has made his light to shine upon us. Bind the festal sacrifice with cords, up to the horns of the altar!
28. You are my God, and I will give thanks to you; you are my God; I will extol you.
29. Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!

Isaiah 62

2010-03-27T15:11:00.001-07:00

Ahh, I just love Isaiah. God has done good things, and is/was so merciful to give me such a Book, that in trouble I might know His thoughts! Here is another chapter in Isaiah that has been a great blessing to me.

Isaiah 62

For Zion's sake I will not keep silent, and for Jerusalem's sake I wil not be quiet, until her righteousness goes forth as brightness and her salvation as a burning torch
2. The nations shall see your righteousness, and all the kings your glory, and you shall be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will give.
3. You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God.
4. You shall no more be termed Forsaken, and your land shall no more be termed Desolate, but you shall be called My Delight Is in Her, and your land Married; for the LORD delights in you, and your land shall be married.
5. For as a young man marries a young woman, so shall your sons marry you, and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.
6. On your walls, O Jerusalem, I have set watchmen; all the day and all the night they shall never be silent. You who put the Lord in remembrance take no rest,
7. and give him no rest until he establishes Jerusalem and makes it a praise in the earth.
8. The LORD has sworn by his right hand and by his mighty arm; I will not again give your grain to be food for your enemies, and foreigners shall not drink your wine for which you have labored;
9. but those who garner it shall eat it and praise the Lord, and those who gather it shall drink it in the courts of my sanctuary.
10. Go through, go through the gates; prepare the way for the people; build up, build up the highway; clear it of stones; lift up a signal over the peoples.
11. Behold the Lord has proclaimed to the end of the earth; Say to the daughter of Zion, "Behold, your salvation comes; behold, his reward is with him, and his recompense before him."
12. And they shall be called The Holy People, The Redeemed of the LORD; and you shall be called Sought Out, A City Not Forsaken.

I am noticing that in the Christian walk there are some rough times... Imagine that. :-) And sometimes I have accused God of not being Holy, in His Sovereignty. And if you try to figure that one out you will notice that it is impossible for God to be Sovereign and not Holy, or vice versa. But none the less in my sin I have accused Him.

Oh for God's grace in putting this chapter in the Word! You know guys, we are on THE road to a brighter day. So great is His grace toward us that we cannot fathom that which He is working through us. And though times are difficult and rough we have a great inheritance awaiting us, and every single minute we "Stand Fast" in the Lord we are a moment closer to that day! We will be called "The Holy People, The Redeemed of the LORD, Sought Out, A City Not Forsaken".

God bless you and give you PEACE in your troubles, and the FAITH to stand fast.

Mark Cahill

2010-03-25T07:12:00.000-07:00

March 2010

The Land of the Rising Sun
I know that many of you were praying for my trip to Japan. Thank you so much for the prayers! In some ways, I was really dreading the trip because of the long flights, etc. I haven’t traveled overseas in many years. It wound up being one of the best trips I have ever had in my life!

On the flight over, I was very happy: There was an empty seat next to me! That meant I could stretch out at least a little bit over the 13 1/2 hour trip. All of the sudden, a man walked up and asked the flight attendant if that seat was empty and if he could sit there. Next thing you know, he is plopping down next me. I am now not the happiest man in the free world! So we began to talk. He was an atheist. I am now the happiest man in the free world! We just had the best conversation. One interesting thing Michael said to me was that he knew in his heart there was a God. Even though he didn’t believe in Him, he knew there was a God. Twice during the conversation he told me, “You know we are supposed to be sitting next to each other talking about God.” And foolish me was worried about stretching out!

Japan is a fascinating country. The characters that are put together to make up the word ‘Japan’ actually mean ‘sun-origin.’ The red disk on their flag represents the sun. People still worship the sun there today. Only about 1% of Japan is Christian. Shintoism and Buddhism are the two main religions of the land, even though most people don’t really practice either of those religions. The picture below is me speaking at a Japanese Church:

Yes, there are only about 15 people at this church! Like I said, Christianity is very small there. It was one of the highlights of my trip to speak there! I asked the people through a translator, “What do people worship here in Japan?” Their response, without any hesitation, was ‘nature.’ The ‘Land of the Rising Sun’ even makes more sense now.

Romans 1:18-25 says,
“For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness; Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them. For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things. Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.”

If you do not worship the God of this universe, you will worship something. And most people will turn to worshipping the creation. Whether it is their love of the mountains, always angling their chair towards the sun on spring break, etc., you will worship something or someone.

In Japan, many also worship people. Some consider the emperor to be god. As you can see, it is a group of people that is being set up to easily worship an antichrist.

The picture below is when we were handing some tracts out to a group we ran into:

I had heard that people in Japan wouldn’t take tracts. We found the people very open to taking literature from us. When these girls walked away, they said some things and started laughing. I asked the translator what they said. She smiled and said, “A very handsome American!” If you find out I am moving the headquarters of the ministry to Japan, you now know why!!

I went to the island of Okinawa to speak. God allowed me to do some speaking to a lot of our military personnel that are stationed there. It is an island with a lot of history. Over 200,000 people were killed during WWII on Okinawa. There were over 2.7 million shells dropped on that island which equaled almost 5 shells per person that lived there at the time! To this very day, there are still over 1 million unexploded shells still on that island!

One of my high school friends, Jon, is a F-15 pilot and a Colonel in the Air Force. He put all the plans together to get me over there. One day, he hired a tour guide to take us around. Setsuko told us that she hid in a cave during WWII and that is how she survived. She was three months old at the time. Okinawa is a volcanic island, so there are caves everywhere. She was very angry at how Imperial Japan treated the Okinawans. She told us of the some of the horrific things the Japanese soldiers did to the Okinawans. She said, “We also had a different religion. We never believed the emperor was a god.”

She took us to a naval underground headquarters for the Japanese. It was a bunch of tunnels inside of a mountain. When the Americans were coming in to get them, well over 100 of them committed suicide. It was consider honorable to die that way for Japan and the emperor, and dishonorable for an American soldier to kill you. There was a lot of suicide on Okinawa. The Japanese would encourage Okinawans to commit suicide. They would give grenades to the adults to kill their whole family. It was considered an honor. The Okinawans were looked down upon by the people from the main island of Japan. Setsuko told us that in this one hospital, the Japanese soldiers came in and gave everyone milk. It was laced with cyanide. They killed all of these Okinawans. It was more evidence on how the heart is so deceitfully wicked.

Do you remember the story in the Bible of the Gadarene demoniac? Here is an interesting part of the story in the book of Mark:
“And always, night and day, he was in the mountains, and in the tombs, crying, and cutting himself with stones.”

He was cutting himself with stones. When people are into what is called ‘cutting,’ I call it a slow suicide. Suicide is murder. It is wrong. And yet Satan had so deceived people in Japan, they considered it an honor to kill themselves. The Great Deceiver is working hard all over the world on this issue.

Setsuko is a Christian now. She found the real Son. She wants the truth out about what happened on that island. Sounds like something us Christians should be doing as well.

Below is a picture of us witnessing at a Shinto temple:

Yes, that is the Shinto priest! We got into an interesting discussion. The translator was able to help me witness to him! The person with the young face there is actually a 25 year-old-man! It was an interesting discussion. A quote from a Shinto booklet in Japan: “Shinto was originally a natural religion which became into existence in a village community. So, the concept of a sin or of ethics is also formed according to the value system of the community: that is to wish prosperous continuation and development of the community.” Moral relativism is alive and well in Japan!

At the Shinto shrine, people were praying for success of business, praying to have their car protected, etc., and all the while giving money to the Shinto priests to pay for this! It was a great money making endeavor! I know some of the prosperity preachers here in America that would have been very proud of how the Shinto priests were running their organization!

Wouldn’t it be better if one day, instead of being the Land of Rising Sun, Japan would be known as the Land of the Rising Son? How about where you live? Wouldn’t you like where you live to be known for the move of Jesus Christ that is going on in your area? Well, my Bible is very specific. God uses regular people to bring the Son of God to many people. Make sure all the days of your life that you are a regular person that brings Jesus to as many people as you can before you take your last breath!
Until the nets are full,

Mark Cahill

Okay, so I am cheating again and posting someone elses writing on my blog, but I really do think you guys will be blessed with reading this. I met Mark Cahill once and was surprised. In my mind, through reading his books and hearing him speak I thought he would be this super serious guy, whose only mission was to serve and seek "lost" people. Not that those are bad things at all. :-) I was partly right and partly wrong. He does witness a LOT, and he is pretty serious but he is also an extremely kind and considerate guy to the Christians he meets. I watched him while he talked to us "saved" people and he was as concerned with reaching out to the saved as he was to the lost. Great man of God, and therefore I agree with the Japanese ladies, he is a very handsome American! :-)

In the Valley by Sovereign Grace

2010-03-23T08:12:00.000-07:00

Beautiful song! It is a great encouragement to me and I hope it will be to you as well.

The Bible verses that this song reminds me of are:

Romans 8:28-39
Romans 13:11-14
Lam. 3:25
Ps. 34:8

Words and music by Bob Kauflin

When You lead me to the valley of vision
I can see You in the heights
And though my humbling wouldn’t be my decision
It’s here Your glory shines so bright
So let me learn that the cross precedes the crown
To be low is to be high
That the valley’s where You make me more like Christ

Let me find Your grace in the valley
Let me find Your life in my death
Let me find Your joy in my sorrow
Your wealth in my need
That You’re near with every breath
In the valley

In the daytime there are stars in the heavens
But they only shine at night
And the deeper that I go into darkness
The more I see their radiant light
So let me learn that my losses are my gain
To be broken is to heal
That the valley’s where Your power is revealed

Psalm 57

2010-03-22T03:48:00.000-07:00

"Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me; for my soul trusteth in thee: yeah, in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast.
I will cry unto God most high; unto God that performeth all things for me.
He shall send from heaven, save me from the reproach of him that would swallow me up. Selah. God shall send forth his mercy and his truth.
My soul is among lions: and I lie even among them that are set on fire, even the sons of men, whose teeth are spears and arrows, and their tongue a sharp sword.
Be thou exalted, O God, above the heavens; let thy glory be above all the earth. They have prepared a net for my steps; my soul is bowed down; they have digged a pit before me, into the midst whereof thy are fallen themselves. Selah.
My heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed; I will sing and give praise.
Awake up my glory; awake psaltry and harp: I myself will awake early.
I will praise thee, O Lord, among the people: I will sing unto thee among the nations.
For thy mercy is great unto the heavens, and thy truth unto the clouds.
Be thou exalted, O God, above the heavens: let thy glory be above all the earth."

Gratefulnesse

2010-03-21T20:21:00.001-07:00

Here is a poem, or part of a poem, that I borrowed from a book I am reading. :-) It is called: Gratefulnesse (Don't hate on the Old English just 'cause it is cool, ok?)

Thou that has given so much to me,
Give me one thing more
- a grateful heart...

... I cry, and cry again;
and in no quiet canst Thou be,
Till I a thankful heart obtain of Thee.

Not thankful when it pleases me,
As if Thy blessings had spare days;
But such a heart, whose pulse may be Thy praise.
-George Herbert (1593-1633)

Thank You, God for these days that "Try our souls" and make us to learn that there is great delight found in resting (believing) in You! :-)

Article by John Piper for the Ladies

2010-03-16T12:32:00.000-07:00

This is an excellent article for us ladies. You will LOVE all the ministry ideas, at the end, if you don't already have some in mind.

1.That all of your life—in whatever calling—be devoted to the glory of God.
2.That the promises of Christ be trusted so fully that peace and joy and strength fill your soul to overflowing.
3.That this fullness of God overflow in daily acts of love so that people might see your good deeds and give glory to your Father in heaven.
4.That you be women of the Book, who love and study and obey the Bible in every area of its teaching. That meditation on Biblical truth be the source of hope and faith. And that you continue to grow in understanding through all the chapters of your life, never thinking that study and growth are only for others.
5.That you be women of prayer, so that the Word of God would open to you; and the power of faith and holiness would descend upon you; and your spiritual influence would increase at home and at church and in the world.
6.That you be women who have a deep grasp of the sovereign grace of God undergirding all these spiritual processes, that you be deep thinkers about the doctrines of grace, and even deeper lovers and believers of these things.
7.That you be totally committed to ministry, whatever your specific role, that you not fritter your time away on soaps or ladies magazines or aimless hobbies, any more than men should fritter theirs away on excessive sports or aimless diddling in the garage. That you redeem the time for Christ and his Kingdom.
8.That, if you are single, you exploit your singleness to the full in devotion to Christ and not be paralyzed by the desire to be married.
9.That, if you are married, you creatively and intelligently and sincerely support the leadership of your husband as deeply as obedience to Christ will allow; that you encourage him in his God-appointed role as head; that you influence him spiritually primarily through your fearless tranquility and holiness and prayer.
10.That, if you have children, you accept responsibility with your husband (or alone if necessary) to raise up children who hope in the triumph of God, sharing with him the teaching and discipline of the children, and giving to the children that special nurturing touch and care that you are uniquely fitted to give.
11.That you not assume that secular employment is a greater challenge or a better use of your life than the countless opportunities of service and witness in the home the neighborhood, the community, the church, and the world. That you not only pose the question: Career vs. full time mom? But that you ask as seriously: Full time career vs. freedom for ministry? That you ask: Which would be greater for the Kingdom— to be in the employ of someone telling you what to do to make his business prosper, or to be God's free agent dreaming your own dream about how your time and your home and your creativity could make God's business prosper? And that in all this you make your choices not on the basis of secular trends or yuppie lifestyle expectations, but on the basis of what will strengthen the family and advance the cause of Christ.
12.That you step back and (with your husband, if you are married) plan the various forms of your life's ministry in chapters. Chapters are divided by various things—age, strength, singleness, marriage, employment choices, children at home, children in college, grandchildren, retirement, etc. No chapter has all the joys. Finite life is a series of tradeoffs. Finding God's will, and living for the glory of Christ to the full in every chapter is what makes it a success, not whether it reads like somebody else's chapter or whether it has in it what chapter five will have.
13.That you develop a wartime mentality and lifestyle; that you never forget that life is short, that billions of people hang in the balance of heaven and hell every day, that the love of money is spiritual suicide, that the goals of upward mobility (nicer clothes, cars, houses, vacations, food, hobbies) are a poor and dangerous substitute for the goals of living for Christ with all your might, and maximizing your joy in ministry to people's needs.
14.That in all your relationships with men you seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit in applying the Biblical vision of manhood and womanhood; that you develop a style and demeanor that does justice to the unique role God has given to man to feel responsible for gracious leadership in relation to women—a leadership which involves elements of protection and care and initiative. That you think creatively and with cultural sensitivity (just as he must do) in shaping the style and setting the tone of your interaction with men.
15.That you see Biblical guidelines for what is appropriate and inappropriate for men and women in relation to each other not as arbitrary constraints on freedom but as wise and gracious prescriptions for how to discover the true freedom of God's ideal of complementarity. That you not measure your potential by the few roles withheld but by the countless roles offered. That you turn off the TV and Radio and think about...

The awesome significance of motherhood

Complementing a man's life as his wife

Ministries to the handicapped

hearing impaired
blind
lame
retarded

Ministries to the sick:

nursing
physician
hospice care—cancer, AIDS, etc.
community health

Ministries to the socially estranged:

emotionally impaired
recovering alcoholics
recovering drug users
escaping prostitutes
abused children, women
runaways, problem children
orphans

Prison ministries:

women's prisons!
families of prisoners
rehabilitation to society

Ministries to youth:

teaching
sponsoring
open houses and recreation
outings and trips
counseling
academic assistance

Sports ministries:

neighborhood teams
church teams

Therapeutic counseling:

independent
church based
institutional

Audio visual ministries:

composition
design
production
distribution

Writing ministries:

free lance
curriculum development
fiction
non-fiction
editing
institutional communications
journalistic skills for publications

Teaching ministries:

Sunday school: children, youth, students, women
grade school
high school
college

Music ministries:

composition
training
performance
voice
choir
instrumentalist

Evangelistic ministries:

personal witnessing
Inter Varsity
Campus Crusade
Navigators
Home Bible Studies
outreach to children
Visitation teams
Counseling at meetings
Billy Graham phone bank

Radio and TV ministries:

technical assistance
writing
announcing
producing

Theater and drama ministries:

acting
directing
writing
scheduling

Social ministries:

literacy
pro-life
pro-decency
housing
safety
beautification

Pastoral care assistance:
visitation
newcomer welcoming and assistance
hospitality
food and clothing and transportation

Prayer ministries:

praying!!!
mobilizing for major Concerts of Prayer
helping with small groups of prayer
coordinating prayer chains
promoting prayer days and weeks and vigils

Missions:

all of the above across cultures

Support ministries:

countless jobs that undergird major ministries

Behold the Coming Kingdom!

2010-03-14T20:12:00.000-07:00

I just L.O.V.E this chapter in Isaiah. Must post it so that you can L.O.V.E. it too. :-)

Isaiah 35

1.) The wilderness and the dry land shall be glad; th desert shall rejoice and blossom like the crocus; 2.) it shall blossom abundantly and rejoice with joy and singing. The glory of Lebanon shall be given to it, the majesty of Carmel and Sharon. They shall see the glory of the LORD, the majesty of our God. 3.) Strengthen the weak hands, and make firm the feeble knees. 4.) Say to those who have an anxious heart, "Be strong; fear not! Behold your God will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God. He will come and save you." 5.) Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, and the ears of the deaf unstopped; 6.) then shall the lame man leap like a deer, and the tongue of the mute sing for joy. For the waters break forth in the wilderness, and the streams in the desert; 7.) the burning sand shall become a pool, and the thirsty ground springs of water; in the haunt of jackels, where they lie down; the grass shall become reeds and rushes. 8.) And a highway shall be there, and it shall be called the Way of Holiness; the unclean shall not pass over it. It shall belong to those who walk on the way; even if they are fools, they shall not go astray. 9.) No lion shall be there, nor shall any ravenous beast come up on it; they shall not be found there, but the redeemed shall walk there. 10.) And the ransomed of the LORD shall return and come to Zion with singing; everlasting joy shall be upon their heads; they shall obtain gladness and joy, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.

As Spring break is here it is so good for me to remember that first, the day of the LORD is coming (!) and second, that now is the time to be strong in the Lord and to not fear the world. For sure the Lord is coming soon and I must be found both ready and unashamed. And as these last and busy days are here this chapter and also the verses in Colossians 3:15-17 will, by God's grace set the tone for the rest of this semester (and the rest of my life). Basically this is not afraid but working and anticipaiting the day when the Lord will take us from here, by the awesome power of the cleansing blood of Christ. Yay!

(In case you don't have time to look up Colossians 3:15-17 I will just write it for you. :-))
15. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
16. Let the word of Christ dwell richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
17. And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by Him.

The Power of the Cross

2010-03-13T20:09:00.000-08:00

Oh, to see the dawn
Of the darkest day:
Christ on the road to Calvary.
Tried by sinful men,
Torn and beaten, then
Nailed to a cross of wood.

Chorus:
This, the power of the cross:
Christ became sin for us
Took the blame, bore the wrath—
We stand forgiven at the cross.

Oh, to see the pain
Written on Your face,
Bearing the awesome weight of sin.
Every bitter thought,
Every evil deed
Crowning Your bloodstained brow.

Now the daylight flees
Now the ground beneath
Quakes as its Maker bows His head.
Curtain torn in two,
Dead are raised to life;
"Finished!" the victory cry.

Oh, to see my name
Written in the wounds,
For through Your suffering I am free.
Death is crushed to death
Life is mine to live,
Won through Your selfless love.

This, the power of the cross:
Son of God—slain for us
What a love! What a cost!

We stand forgiven at the cross.

Thinking tonight about the great sacrifice that Christ made for me. Seriously I can't remember it enough!! Love like that is impossible!! Forgivness like that is impossible outside of God! It blows my mind... It really does.

So great a sacrifice. So great a gift. Such great mercy has been poured out on us.

Just thought I would pass this song on. What a great day to know and to serve the Lord! Hope that you are blessed today with the joy and refreshment that comes from the presence of the Lord. God bless y'all.

All good things must come to an end

2010-03-10T04:05:00.000-08:00

So I had to get off of facebook recently and I told everyone that it was because I am going to be super busy this summer and the rest of this semester. Here are the reasons in particular. Judge me fairly. LOL. :0)

I did add an eight week course to my course load, so school work is taking my attention every evening, and most mornings. I am doing a lot more Bible study and memory work, because I really really need it. It is essential for my life. :-)(Like you didn't know that):-) I am training for a 10-K and I hope to run it this Fall. There isn't really a good reason for this except for motivation to stay in shape. Because between school and my job I sit or stand around all day! I am going to be getting training for an EMT and a CNA licence this summer. That should be pretty fun. I am working about thirty hours a week now because they have changed the hours around at the bank. Though I don't mind the money ;-) I would prefer to spend my time on other things. Alas, money is forcing its way into my wallet. I just can't stop it. :-) Not a bad problem to have, right? I am studying to take the Nursing Entrance Exam again... because wouldn't you know it, I took the wrong one. Argh. Praying a lot about nursing, and taking it a semester at a time. Hopefully will be able to share the gospel and lead a Bible study with young girls at Juvenile detention center this summer, with either my Church or a group that works specifically with Juvenile detention centers. Also will be going to the nursing home too with my Church. I am pretty excited about that. So my schedule is pretty tight this summer, and for that I am grateful. All these "plans" of course are subject to change, but yeah... this is the plan.

So those are the reasons I am "too busy" for facebook. My other reasons for getting off of facebook are these: You know I thought and thought about it and though I don't watch TV or movies (very rarely) it is pointless if I am spending that same time on facebook. So yes, I was an addict. Regrettably so. I don't think facebook is bad in anyway, I think it is a great way to encourage your brothers and sisters in Christ, and challenge those who don't know the Lord. I also think it is super fun to keep up with hundreds of your friends from all over and share your pictures with them. So don't get me wrong on this. I condemn no one for using facebook often, it is just that I know I could get a lot more done without it this semester and I needed to get my priorities straight. Besides all those debates discussing Christian Liberty and Holiness were way too attractive. I wanted to write pages on those, but that would keep me from actually living what I was writing about, hence the "No more, Grace".

Do I miss it. Yup. Because I miss seeing your pictures and hearing how you are doing. But I will say in not knowing how you are, I pray for you a lot more. So that is good. I really do also more particularly appreciate and enjoy your blogs. And the answer is no, it doesn't take more time to read the blogs(or write blogs for that matter) than I spent on facebook. :-) So that is it in a nut shell. Embarrassing? Yes. True. Yes... :-)

Hope that you have a day full of the joy of the Lord!

State of the Heart Address

2010-03-07T22:07:00.000-08:00

Wow! I just heard Ken Ham's State of the Nation address, and it was life changing. He spoke about the state of the church's heart and mind and how that it has affected or rather stopped affecting the state of our nation and our culture. He spoke about how we have removed reminders that would have reminded us of God's faithfulness, holiness, justice and mercy. He spoke about how we as a church have forgotten the Lord and compromised His Word by adding to it things that are more acceptable by the culture. We have not esteemed His Word as the ultimate authority. It is not the "end all". We rather treat it as a "good suggestion" or one of the many ways that one might come to the right conclusion. Kenn Ham spoke about how that we as Christians have lost the debate against evolution, abortion, and all other cultural abominations because we have accepted a neutral position on these subjects. We are being called to repentance and a complete reformation of our way of thinking.

Compromising and forgetting GOD's Word:

Matthew 12:30 "He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad. "

Basically that means that if we are Christians who are "riding the fence" so to speak, in cultural and spiritual issues we are decieving ourselves. The fence is on the side of God's enemies, and so are we. We try so hard to relate to the world in order to explain our position. But the only way we can possibly relate is by laying down Christ and His Holy Word... which we do. And by doing this we are siding with the world who are doing all they can to forget God or pretend that there isn't a God. We cannot be nuetral. To be nuetral is to side with the world, beacause nuetrality is a rejection of God's authority. Rejection of God's supreme authority is rebellion.

NOT KNOWING THE WORD:

Romans 8:6 "For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace."

Another way we lose the debate is by not knowing the Word of God. Generally speaking most of us can't explain to others why we do or don't do what we do. We, and I totally must include myself in this (ahhh!) do not know how to answer those who ask us about what we know is truth. Yes, I know that abortion is wrong and sodomy is wrong. I know that it is not right or pleasing to God that I should commit fornication or speak or think of men in a lustful way. How do I know? Bible verses. When I am tempted,those verses come to mind and the Holy Spirit strengthens me to resist these temptations. But when the girls at work ask why I don't flirt or "go after" guys I don't answer "Oh well the God says in 1Cor 6:18 to flee fornication, because it is an offense to Him. He says that He delights in steadfast love, not lust, in Jeremiah 9:24." But that is why I don't, so SAY it for crying out loud! When we don't know where God stands on current and relavent issues, when we say "Oh the Bible doesn't really say anything about this and so", what we are really saying is that we don't know what God says about it. God says that He has provided for us "all things that pertain unto LIFE and GODLINESS, through the KNOWLEDGE of HIM" (1 Peter 1:3). So we can't say that God doesn't have an opinion on this or that subject. We must KNOW what His opinion is through the study and submission to the authority of His Word.

Hosea 4:6 "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children."

Amos 5:21 " I hate, and despise your feast days and I will not smell your solemn assemblies. Though ye offer me burnt offerings and your meat offerings, I will not accept them; neither will I regard the peace offerings of your fat beasts. Take thou away from me the nose of thy songs; for I will not hear the melody of thy viols. But let judgment and run downas waters, and righteousness as a mighty stream."

Pretty rough stuff. But praise God for the grace to repent! Praise God for the revealing of sins and for The Way (Christ Jesus) to restore our relationship with God! Praise God for forgiveness, and this sanctification.

I was talking to a good friend afterwards and we both just were overwhelmed with conviction and the desire to repent and to be changed by the Holy Spirit. Yet we knew that in our own strength we were powerless. But both she and I know that it is "God that worketh in you both to WILL and to DO of His good pleasure." (Philippians 2:13) And we got pretty excited because we know that the Lord will change us as we commit ourselves completely to Him. (Ephesians 3:20)

You know, there are rough times in a Christians life. A lot of them. And it is easy to get discouraged these days, by persecutors, by the culture in general, by the oppression of authorities, or even by other Christians. God continuously allows extreme difficulties that reveal to us our sin or try our patience and build our faith. But being a child of God is amazingly wonderful. And I wouldn't/couldn't trade even one of my difficulties for knowing the Lord and being loved by Him. Not one. He truly is the best part of my existance and the crown and glory of my life.

One of my favorite chapters in Scripture is Isaiah 12. I can't write it all in here, because it is late and I have a midterm for which I have to finish studying. But read it, because it is like first aid cream to a repentant heart. His anger has been turned away from us, His children, through the appeasement that Christ supplied at the cross. Times of refreshing come from the presence of the Lord. Just. Saying.

A poem based off of Psalm 91

2010-03-06T16:54:00.000-08:00

Hail gracious source of every good,
Our Savior and defense,
Thou art our glory and our shield,
Our help and confidence.

When anxious cares disturb the breast,
When threatening foes are night,
To Thee we pour our deep complaint,
To Thee for succor fly.

Blest tower of strength, exalted rock,
Whence living waters flow,
Jesus our Lord, the only hope
Of fallen man below.

To Thee we heavy laden come,
To Thee our sorrows bring;
Oh hear! And save us from the storm,
Beneath Thy sheltering wing.

Written by Harriett Auber in 1829, Our Own Hymn Book

Absolutely beautiful poem. Don't you think? :-)

"Looking to Jesus until glory doth shine"

2010-03-04T10:15:00.000-08:00

My piano teacher is teaching me to play hymns and one of the ones she is teaching me is called "Moment by Moment". If you haven't heard this song you should listen because it is really something else. :-)

Dying with Jesus, by death reckoned mine;
Living with Jesus a new life divine;
Looking to Jesus till glory doth shine,
Moment by moment, O Lord, I am Thine.

Never a trial that He is not there,
Never a burden that He doth not bear,
Never a sorrow that He doth not share;
Moment by moment, I'm under His care.

Moment by moment I'm kept in His love
Moment by moment I've life from above
Looking to Jesus till glory doth shine,
Moment by moment, O Lord, I am thine.

For those of you who don't have an instrument to practice, you should pick one! The times I get to practice piano have been some of the best times of worship. On that poor tired piano I have banged out more confessions of sin and thanksgiving and pounded in more truth of the Word than you would expect if you heard me play. :-)There are so many beautiful songs with beautiful words that help you to "look to Jesus" and worship Him in TRUTH.

This particular song helps me to remember to thank God that He does know my circumstances and He does care. I have forgotten that a lot lately. This song reminds me that my life is in Him now, and that my own way is not what I am supposed to want anymore. It reminds me that I have a new life from God and it is surrendered to Gods way, timing. His will and pleasure is where I will now find the joy of living. I will not find joy in pleasant circumstances. I will not find joy in pleasing myself.

Side note: I am sure you will not be sorry if you learn to play or even just set aside some time to sing or listen to good sound worship music. Steer clear of the junky stuff! ;-) Remember that worship isn't about you, it is about God. :-) Some people learn to play an instrument and just use it when they are by themselves to worship the Lord, but it is also really good to learn to play good songs before others and with others. This will both encourage them in Truth and also to encourage them to focus intently on Christ until we are called to be with Him in heaven.

In these last days with all of the intense distractions, it is a great thing to encourage our brothers and sisters in looking intently on the Lord. So if we can help by sharing music, testimonies, and above all the gospel and God's Word, that will be time well spent. And that is why I say you will not be sorry. End of Side Note. :-)

"And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD." -Psalm 40:3

"Oh God, my exceeding joy, singing thy praises uplifts my heart, for thou are the fountain of delight, and dost bless the soul that joys in thee. But because of my hearts rebellion I cannot always praise thee as I ought; Yet I will at all times rest myself in thy excellences, goodness, and loving kindness. Thou are in Jesus the object of inexpressible joy, and I take exceeding pleasure in the thought of thee." -Valley of Vision *That is what I wanted to say only someone else said it better. :-)

My dear, dear professor.

2010-02-27T21:16:00.000-08:00

So I will admit that I think my professor, who is an athiest, is pretty funny. But the more I think about what he says and the way he thinks I realize that there are still athieistic views and beliefs in my heart. So when God shows me this, my laughing stops right then and there. As I am sure you can imagine... :-)

My Professor was talking about Martin Luther and praising him (I know! I so surprised that he would speak favorably of Martin Luther)for encouraging everyone to read the Bible themselves. I was thinking, "Are you serious? You like the fact that he did that?" But as I listened further I realized what the Professor was actually saying. I no longer felt sorry for the Professor, I felt sorry for Martin Luther. If he had heard my Professor he would have rolled over in his grave. The longer I thought on this subject the more I realized that Martin Luther might roll over in his grave at the way I read the Bible too. Eeek, not exactly a pleasant thought.

My Professor went on to say that religion is what each person wants it to be, and that Martin Luther wanted all people to read the Bible for themselves and interpret it as they saw fit. First off, this is entirely consistent with an athiests view of God... or the lack of God. If God isn't a person, "His" Words don't have any meaning and therefore can be interpreted in any way by anyone. But on the other hand since God is a person is it not ridiculous to think that He would write down words but have no exact meaning. Of course it is! Neither you nor I would ever speak like that. We only speak words to convey to another what we are thinking.

I only mention this because I myself have been tempted to take (and have taken) the athiestic approach to the Scriptures as the Professor was encouraging. Ah, renewing of the mind and repentance are just a constant need with me. Anyway, does anyone ever talk and not have a point or a meaning to what they are saying? The truth is that we MEANT something by the words we spoke, and it is the persons job, to whom we are speaking, to interpret us correctly. (I also have to say that this analogy breaks down where people do, in that we cannot so beautifully, and brilliantly write our ideas, nor preserve them as God does. Neither are our words so worthy of diligent study as to the intent.) But I have to say that in my own heart I have approached the Scriptures as my Professor, as an athiest. I have gone to it with my own ideas of what I want it to hear God say. I have not always approached it "God, what do YOU mean by this. These are your words, what is Your meaning?" Why not? Because if God is God and I do understand His meaning then I will have to do it, right? Yes, there is rebellion. Most often I don't "understand" passages that I don't really want to understand. Lastly there is a scripture that testifies against me and against my Professor. For this I know Martin Luther must praise God. :-) 2 Peter 1:20 "Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation." In other words, "God is a real being. His Word has a specific meaning."

But I can't understand it? Well there are a lot of us who struggle with the word of God, but it isn't because it isn't clear in it's meaning, nor is it true that there are things about our life and godliness that God doesn't address or let us know His opinion on (boy, I have heard that a lot.). There are several reasons we "don't understand" the Scripture. It could be that we, as I mentioned before the sin of rebellion in our heart, and that makes it impossible for us to accept what He is saying. Another big reason I have found that I misinterpret Scripture is because of apathy, in that I don't take it in context. I just pull out verses here and there, hoping that it will line up with the way I am thinking. This is why it is imperitive that we study thoroughly the whole Word of God and continue to study it. Another reason that we might not understand some Scripture could be that the Lord does not want to show us His meaning at this time. If the whole Bible were revealed to me at once, I am convinced I would explode. So God is merciful in His revelation of His meaning. But also it is good for me to remember that it is God who reveals His Word to me and has promised that the Holy Spirit will guide us in all truth (John 16:13).

So all that long post to say this:

His Words do have meaning, and He means for me to know it His meaning.

Dueteronomy 5:24 "And ye said, Behold, the LORD our God hath shewed us his glory and his greatness, and we have heard his voice out of the midst of the fire: we have seen this day that God doth talk with man, and he liveth." *Beautiful Chapter about the glory of God and the power of His person, and words.

"Take My Life"

2010-02-25T08:12:00.000-08:00

Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, for Thee;
Take my moments and my days, let them flow in ceaseless praise
Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of Thy love,
Take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee;

Take my voice and let me sing always, only, for my King,
Take my lips and let them be filled with messages from Thee;
Take my silver and my gold, not a mite would I withhold,
Take my intellect and use every power as You choose.

Here am I, all of me
Take my life it's all for thee.

Take my will and make it Thine, it shall be no longer mine
Take my heart it is Thine own, it shall be Thy royal throne
Take my love my Lord I pour at Your feet it's treasure store
Take myself and I shall be, only, all for Thee.

-Chris Tomlin's "Take my life (Here am I)"

Isn't this a great song? I will tell you what, it is such a delight to surrender all to such a God as our God! His mercy and grace are great!

May you surrender all your time, body, words, possessions, mind, will, loves and whole self to the Great God and our Savior Jesus Christ! God bless you guys!

Patience and Suffering again :-)

2010-02-21T09:53:00.000-08:00

God is so good! Wouldn't you know it but the pastor preached on James 5:7-11. As I read through the passage, my heart was just yelling "no. no. not that!". :-) But God did most definitely mean what He said in that passage and after repentance, there was so much peace. Ahh. Really these are the worst and best of times! :-)

" Be patient therefore, brethren, unto the coming of the Lord. Behold, the husbandman waiteth for the precious fruit of the earth, and hath long patience for it, until he receive the early and latter rain. Be ye also patient; stablish your hearts: for the coming of the Lord draweth nigh. Grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned: behold, the judge standeth before the door. Take, my brethren, the prophets, who have spoken in the name of the Lord, for an example of suffering affliction, and of patience. Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy." -James 5:7-11

When we were reading through the passage as a congregation I couldn't even read it, it was so convicting. I had just been praying this morning that the Lord would come. Not that that is a bad prayer, and not that I shouldn't look forward to His coming, but rather that my heart wasn't right in my reasons for asking. :-) I just wanted the trouble to be over, but Jesus said, (another verse the Pastor reminded me of) "These things have I spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation' but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." (Matthew 16:33) In this world I have had tribulation, but I endure it cheerfully because Christ has already endured the most pain and trouble possible and He was victorious through it! I don't have to count on my own ability to endure but through His strength and grace He will cause me to endure to the end. That indeed is a relief!

How precious a gift to know the Lord and to be known by Him! What a gift His word is to us! In Him, through the Words He has spoken and what He has done we have peace. Not only peace with God but also peace through trouble.

Through this passage God rebuked me of my impatience with hard times, my slack in strengthening my heart in His Word, my grudging others who I think have caused the trouble, and my forgetfulness of the Lord's faithfulness. I absolutely love these verses! Praise God for seeing my sin and addressing it. It is such a loving, merciful and PATIENT thing for Him to do. Wow, He is very pitiful and tender in mercy! :-)

Psalm 27:14 Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait I say, on the LORD.

Patience through Suffering

2010-02-20T17:57:00.000-08:00

Question: How does faith work patience?

Answer: Faith argues the soul into patience. Faith is like that town clerk in Ephesus who allayed the contention of the multitude and argued them soberly into peace (Acts 19:35, 36). So when impatience begins to clamour and make a hubbub in the soul, faith appeases the tumult and argues the soul into holy patience. Faith says, ‘Why art thou disquieted, O my soul?’ (Psa. 42:5). ‘Are you afflicted? Is it not your Father who has done it? He is carving and polishing you and making you fit for glory. He smites that he may save. What is your trial? Is it sickness? God shakes the tree of your body so that some fruit may fall, even the “the peaceable fruit of righteousness” (Heb. 12:11). Are you driven from your home? God has prepared a city for you (Heb. 11:16). Do you suffer reproach for Christ’s sake? “The spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you” (1 Pet. 4:14).’ Thus faith argues and disputes the soul into patience.

*Question and answer written by Thomas Watson. Heard this on a radio program called Wretched radio: www.wretchedradio.com. Super encouraging! For those of you who don't listen to Wretched, check it out (*ahem, Courtney and Justin, cough, cough). :-)

Patience through suffering is good, but H-A-R-D, and it only comes, I am finding, by the grace and mercy of Almighty God. There are so many different kinds of suffering and at this moment I think I am going through all of the kinds. :-) BUT I just wanted to say: 1. Ouch! 2. Although I really want it to stop pretty soon, I also know that God has been GREATLY merciful in sending it, and that in some ways it has been such a blessing I don't want it to stop (cannot believe I just wrote that, but it is true... ahhh!).

Great is THY FAITHFULNESS, O God, my Father!

Psalm 19

2010-02-10T18:22:00.001-08:00

"The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge. There is no speech nor are there words, whose voice is not heard. Their measuring line goes out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world. In them he has set a tent for the sun, which comes out like a bridegroom leaving his chamber, and, like a strong man, runs its course with joy. Its rising is from the end of them and there is nothing hidden from its heat. The law of the LORD is perfect reviving the soul; the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple; the precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes; the fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever the rules of the LORD are true, and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also then honey and drippings of the honeycomb. Moreover, by them is your servant warned; and in keeping of them there is great reward. Who can discern his errors? Declare me innocent from hidden faults. Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins let them not have dominion over me! Then shall I be blameless, and innocent of great transgression. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer." -Psalm 19

This one is one of my favorite chapters in Psalm. There is nothing like a Microbiology class and the beautiful Law and Word of God to make a person absolutely delighted with this chapter.

God is magnificent and worthy of all!

Joy: a little word that is also very... big.

2010-02-04T12:02:00.000-08:00

Psalm 71:23 "My lips shall shout for joy when I sing praise to You."

"Joyful, joyful, we adore Thee, God of glory, Lord of love;
Hearts unfold like flowers before Thee, opening to the sun above.
Melt the clouds of sin and sadness; drive the dark of doubt away;
Giver of immortal gladness, fill us with the light of day!

All Thy works with joy surround Thee, earth and heaven reflect Thy rays,
Stars and angels sing around Thee, center of unbroken praise.
Field and forest, vale and mountain, flowery meadow, flashing sea,
Singing bird and flowing fountain call us to rejoice in Thee.

Thou art giving and forgiving, ever blessing, ever blessed,
Wellspring of the joy of living, ocean depth of happy rest!
Thou our Father, Christ our Brother, all who live in love are Thine;
Teach us how to love each other, lift us to the joy divine.

Mortals, join the happy chorus, which the morning stars began;
Father love is reigning o’er us, brother love binds man to man.
Ever singing, march we onward, victors in the midst of strife,
Joyful music leads us Sunward in the triumph song of life."

It is such a beautiful day and a great day to be alive and well in Christ! I just wanted to share this hymn with you all because it is such a reminder to be joyful in the Lord our God. While I was practicing piano today, I was frustrated with the songs that my teacher asked me to play, because they are always so HAPPY! I like the slow songs because they are easier to make pretty and easier to play. Also, it is easier to play a sad song when you are happy than it is to play a happy song when you don't feel that chipper. :-) Anyway, I was frustrated and whining about this to someone and they just laughed and said "It's good for you!". You know what? They are right!

I am studying the book of John and one thing God showed me through this book is where (oh where!) joy comes from. I used to think I could handle obedience just not the joyful part. But those two go hand in hand. In other words you can't have one without the other. So How LORD?! HOW?!

In John 13 I found Christs answer to this question:
"... when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end... Jesus knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going back to God,rose from supper."

Knowing that the victory over sin has been won, knowing that it is God who has called me and will make me holy, and knowing that in the end I am going to Him, gives me the joy that is essential (cannot be separate from) for obedience. I have every reason to be joyful and every reason to obey such a good God who works out, by His grace and mercy, in me both to will and to do (with a joyful heart) of His good pleasure. Indeed Christ's burden is EASY and LIGHT!

Joyful, Joyful, I adore Thee God of Glory, Lord of LOVE! Wellspring of the JOY of living, Ocean Depth of happy rest!

Evangelism

2010-01-24T20:45:00.001-08:00

Ummm, FUN. So the single most exciting thing I have done in this world is share the Gospel of Jesus. Seriously it is as scary as I imagine sky diving would be, it is more terrifying than the Superman (a great big roller coaster)at Six Flags, and more exciting than I hope snowboarding will be. Jesus Christ is an incredibly touchy subject. In fact it is downright dangerous in most parts of the world. Here in America we are pretty protected from physical harm and most verbal, but somehow that doesn't seem to make it much easier.

I used to dread sharing the gospel and when my friends would encourage me to do it I would just copy whatever they said, or I would take the other approach and softly (ever so softly) share something that resembled the gospel but still palatable to most people (i.e the gospel minus real sin, real Jesus, real repentance and real faith). However the more I "shared the gospel" the more the Lord convicted my heart that I wasn't sharing the gospel nor did I personally understand the Gospel. Sad huh?

Well it is true. Now since the Lord changed my heart, I absolutely love to share the gospel. Now that doesn't mean that I am not scared. I have gotten so nervous before that I stuttered like it was a serious birth defect. I have shaken so hard that I couldn't write out a simple e-mail address. I still get scared. But there is nothing that is more wonderful than sharing the real state of man before a holy God, and the real grace that has been made available to us through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It is a delight to share the change that God has made in my life. It is amazing how He has changed my desires, my loves, my motivations, my thoughts. What is more I know Him personally and He is CONTINUING to cleanse me from all my filth and sin! He is (according to Titus 2) "purifying unto Himself" a peculiar woman (I am sure you agree :-)), who is "zealous of good works." Yay!

Now there are several things that scare me initially from sharing. But the main reason I am scared is because I fear they will reject me and what I have to say. I fear they don't care and will not be changed. Sadly this is often the case. But one thing that God has taught me through two years now of sharing the gospel is this: Sharing the gospel isn't about the people that you are sharing with. Of course we should have compassion and love (without this the Scriptures say that we don't know God), and that is one reason to share, but it isn't the main reason. The main reason to share and the reason that will make every gospel sharing opportunity a joy whether the people hear you or scorn you is this: We should share the Truth of the Gospel out of obedience to Christ, and we should do it because it is our honor to be able to speak of what He has done for us.

The Lamb of God is indeed worthy of His reward, and He will receive that reward for all He has suffered. Through "preaching the gospel" God has allowed me to be a part (though the foolish part) of the redemption story of others. That is good and precious news!

There is another part to this that is kinda icky, sounds harsh and is overall distasteful to most of us. It is this: God is not only glorified by those with we share that repent but He is also glorified in those with whom we share that don't repent. *violent reaction here* :-)

I was struck with this fact when I was meditating on:

Isaiah 6:3 "...Holy, holy, holy, is the LORD of hosts: the whole earth [is] full of his glory."

I really struggled with the last part of this verse because I thought, "God we Christians hardly bring You glory, except in that which You do in us, let alone those in this world who reject You completely. So how can the earth be FULL of Your glory?". But as I thought about the verse, "the earth IS full of His glory", I knew that of course that had to be true. Everything had to glorify God in one way or another, at one time or another. Even when a person rejects the Lord, He is still glorified.

Jesus prayed "Father, glorify thy name. Then came there a voice from heaven, [saying], I have both glorified it, and will glorify it again." -John 12:28

God's name is glorified whether people like it or not. Of course God is glorified in the obedience of His children. In fact God is glorified in the fact that any of us can even be called His children. But God is glorified in the disobedience of sinners too. He is glorified either way, because the world doesn't run God, nor does it benevolently give Him things He desires (like glory). The world is under God's control. He was not surprised or perplexed by sin.

Isaiah 42:8 says, "I am the LORD: that is my name: and my glory will I not give to another, neither my praise to graven images."

So through this I have learned not to be concerned with the reaction of people when I share the gospel, because God is glorified either way they respond to the Truth of His Word. This took a huge weight off of my shoulders and helped me to see how BIG (and that is unfortunately the best word I can think of now) God really is. His glory does not depend on me or on the people with whom I am sharing. Wow!

So I hope you get a chance to share the Gospel this week, and I hope that you don't worry about the response you get. I hope you will not worry about whether you can make that person glorify God as He should be glorified. After all His Word says:

"That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth, And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." Philippians 2:10-11

One day, all men will glorify Him whether they are His children or no, because He is worthy.

I hope you can enjoy just obeying the Lord in sharing the Truth, and enjoy the fact that you have a story of redemption to share. Hope everyone has a great week!

1 Corinthians 13; Charity

2010-01-20T04:55:00.000-08:00

"Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the figt of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseamly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things... "
-1 Corinthians 13:1-7

Today is Charity's (Tee) birthday. And for me it is such a joyful day, because God granted me SUCH a blessing on this day. Charity's middle name is Ruth and I think she was SO well named. Her name means Loving Friend... Chambers (not sure what that last name means. lol).

Charity suffereth Long and is Kind: Haha! I love this one! Charity has been long suffering and kind in our relationship. She has borne with me through thick and really really thin. Just sayin'. Through all my inconsistencies, hypocrisies, selfishness, pride, bossiness, and I am sure she could name others (so could I, but I will not), she has been a steadfast loving friend. While she is a good listener I have can always count on her telling me how things really are (truth). Right, Babe? (PS THANK YOU!) There are very few who could boast of such a friend, and fewer still who could be such a friend.

Charity envieth not: The opposite of envy seems to be encouragement. Desiring good for another person and helping them achieve that goal vs. wanting what they have for yourself. Charity is the opposite of envy. Not only does she encourage, but she supports others with her whole heart. I have never known anyone who can anticipate and meet the needs of others so well. Nor have I met a woman so thoughtful in supporting her friends and family. It is truly amazing.

Charity is not puffed up: Wow! This is true of her! She accepts and even expects correction. She takes it like a champ, and even seeks it out! She doesn't think her ideas are the best. She goes to the Word of God to check her ideas and her way of thinking. I so admire this about Charity, and I just thank the Lord for sending me such an example...

Charity doth not behave herself unseamly: She has worked diligently to make the most of the talents the Lord has given her, and to develop the talents/abilities that she needs, in order to be a more faithful servant of God. She has certainly behaved herself in a way that honors not just her family and friends but most importantly her God. Which brings me to the next point. Side note: I LOVE her writings, and speaches. Absolutely life changing stuff!

Charity seeketh not her own: I know Charity pretty well (at least I think I do) and I have known a lot of her personal dreams. Some have changed over the years but some haven't. There is one thing that has changed over the years though and for it I praise God for His work in her. Charity has laid down her own goals that seem like they would bring her both comfort and happiness and has instead chosen the true happiness that is found in obedience to God. She has chosen the difficult and uncertain road, she has decided to put her trust in Christ and live and work for Him. She used to like to speak because she was good at it and because she knew her ideas were very intelligent and well thought out. But I have seen that change. She now speaks to challenge her hearers to serve the Lord, to convict them of God's law, she speaks that God may be lifted up, and man might know his rightful place as the servants of the most high God. Her ideas now are not her own but she goes to the Scripture for their foundation. Truth is now her focus, not her own way, or ideas.

Charity is not easily provoked: Here is another thing that I have seen change in Charity. She no longer picks fights just to fight. She does not seek a fight, nor does she back down when one is brought to her. This is a beautiful balance I think. She has also become better at communicating in an argument. She doesn't get shrill; there is a beautiful peacefulness that comes from her ideas and positions being grounded in THE TRUTH.

Thinketh no evil: I was amazed when after she found out who stole her phone she began praying for the girl and for God's mercy on her. That wasn't what I was thinking of doing at that moment, I'll confess. :-/

Rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth: Oh if I could tell you all the times that I have enjoyed amazing fellowship with Charity over the Word of God! Thank you, thank you, thank you God for this! She is gets so cute while she explains a verse! Sometimes she can't get all the words out and so she taps the table and smiles ear to ear. She truly delights in the Lord, and it is SO FUN!! I love hearing her tell about what God showed her. "Ohhhhh! It was so good! Oh. Oh. Oh. It was just ammmmmazing!"

Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, believeth all things... So she is pretty amazing isn't she? PRAISE God He is going to continue purifying her heart and mind until He calls her to heaven. Ahh, the greatest thing in this life is salvation, and the fact that this woman will one day be presented before Gods throne purified! Sanctification and the fact that God will continue His amazing work in her life is perhaps the most exciting thing about her birthday. I know she will be victoriously growing closer and closer to the Lord every day she lives, whether she live one more year or sixty more, because Christ is victorious. Praise God for this life! This life is good because God is good!

Hope and I love to joke about the last part of this chapter but we change a couple of the words for it to work right: And now abides grace, hope and charity, but the greatest of these is Charity (until its Hopes Birthday anyway). Thanks be to God for our Loving Friend!

Ownership

2010-01-19T04:51:00.000-08:00

"Know ye that the Lord he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people and the sheep of his pasture." Psalm 100:3

From verse and some others from John 10 and Titus 2 God is teaching me about ownership. I always knew that when I finally did give my life to Him I gave it all to Him, but since that time there are different areas that I have begun again to reserve for myself. Which actually is a funny thought considering...

" To him (talking about Christ) the porter openeth; and the sheep hear his voice; and he calleth HIS OWN sheep by name, and leadeth them out. And when he putteth forth HIS OWN sheep, he goeth before them, and the sheep follow him for they know his voice." John 10: 3-4 (emphasis mine :-))

"Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Savior Jesus Christ; Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify UNTO HIMSELF a peculiar people, zealous of good works." - Titus 2: 13-14

"What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost [which is] in you, which ye have of God, and ye are NOT YOUR OWN? " - 1 Corinthians 6:19

So to make a long post really short... I belong to God. Lock, stock and barrel. Plans, things, time, money, mind, heart and soul, there is nothing that is mine. But I have to remember this everyday and recognize His Lordship over me. It is so easy for me to forget! I think this is what Paul was talking about when he was saying that he had to die daily. And death in this sense is actually a really happy thing! Because our corrected relationship with God Almighty, "the great God, and our Savior Jesus Christ" is worth our life and all that we possess, however great or small it is.

"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto treasure hid in a field; the which when a man hath found, he hideth, and for joy thereof goeth and selleth all that he hath, and buyeth that field. "
Matthew 13:44

"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls: Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it."
Matthew 13: 44-45

"It will be worth it all! When we see Jesus!"

Chaste Converstation?

2010-01-11T10:16:00.000-08:00

“For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether.” –Psalm 139:4 All week long I have been hearing about gossip from the Pastor, friends, bible study group leader, and of course the Bible itself! I don’t know if a lot of other women struggle with guarding their mouths as I do, but just in case...

This is SUCH a convicting subject I have been putting it off for several days. It is even painful to type this out! :-) Anyway, we women, who are servants of SUCH a good and great God have got to be women who act like it, in the way that we use our minds and our mouths. We have to stop the gossip and the “busy-body” stuff. The only way to stop it from spilling out is to ask the Lord to purify our conversation, to change our hearts and our minds about gossip and other people’s affairs that shouldn't concern us. I know it hurts to hear that, but it does not hurt nearly as much as it does to write it. Seriously ladies, especially young ladies, God is right! There are so many other GREAT things that we could be doing that bring glory and honor to our LORD with our minds and with our mouths. So here are a few Scriptures and definitions and I will leave it at that, unless someone really wants to dig deeper and point out something else about gossip and or busy body-ness... There is a TON in the Scripture about it that I can't even go into at the moment. So feel free to add to this if you are so inclined.

MOUTH: “But no one can tame the tongue… from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. (James 3:8-10)

Tame tongue: One that is brought under submission to the “bit and bridle” of the Word of God. One that is directed by and obedient to the Highest Authority. What does that look like? I wondered the same thing.

“And my tongue shall speak of thy righteousness and of thy praise all the day long.” Psalm 35:28
“The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment.” Psalm 37:20

Un-tame tongue: That looks like my tongue. :-) My tongue speaks my mind, and that is why it gets so nastay! It relishes in passing information about others. It is idle, hurtful, inconsiderate, and separates good friends. My mouth is guilty of meddling in others affairs where my help was not sought, needed, or helpful. My tongue is guilty of destroying, breaking down, and piercing others. In other words, and for lack of better ones: My tongue is SIN FULL. I know that sounds aweful, but unfortunately it goes deeper and gets worse…

HEART: “Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price."1 Peter 3:3-4

Definition of meek and quiet spirit: I think the best definition is given in the verse that comes after these few verses above. Verse six describes Sara, Abraham’s wife, who did possess a meek and quiet spirit.

"Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement." -1 Peter 3:6

Meekness and a quiet spirit are obedience (which is proper submission to God and therefore the authorities He has placed in our lives) and a lack of fear (which comes by faith/trust in God). Overall it looks quite content. It is content in God’s Sovereignty in where He has chosen to place it as far as its own life and business goes. It is content (and finds it’s happiness/delight/fun) in God, Himself. Boy, that sounds like a real woman, does it not? Beautiful (!) and we don't even have to see what she is wearing. :-)

This meek and quiet spirit has not been my own, but I do repent for the way I have used my mouth and mind in the past. I am grateful to the Lord for showing me the way that is right. He is so worthy of chaste conversation that reflects His redeeming work in my life. From here on out I will seek to be accountable not only to you, my friends, but also to a specific spiritual mentor who will help me pursue pure conversation that exalts my Savior!

God bless you! May you enjoy pure conversation and thoughts today as you continue to pursue Christ with all your heart!

Time is up!

2010-01-07T07:34:00.000-08:00

Why is there such thing as time? I don't usually ask such DEEP questions. :-) I once heard a pastor say that we such a thing as money to show our heart, and to show the world that there is Someone who is more important than money. I think the same is true of time. We have such a thing as time to show that Christ is more important than time.

I have been really crying out to God to show me how to be a real woman. :-) Right away He opened up an opportunity for me to join an Bible study where I met several real women. They convicted me so badly with just their daily schedule. Believe it or not their schedule showed their submission to Christ! I was shocked... and just a little annoyed. Didn't like the idea of this lesson.

The problem:
I have never been a schedule person because they frustrate me so badly when I can't get them done right and in order. Not having a schedule to keep seemed to free me up, and in a way that is true. You are much freer to do things spur of the moment. That being said my not having a schedule has really been bad for me too. I have lost discipline and lost time. I haven't accomplished tasks that were very important, I have lost money, and I have compromised trading valuable time for invaluable things.

"See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil." Ephesians 5:15-16

No, those days are leaving... Submission to God in the orderly and disciplined use of time is coming. There can be no other way. BUT what happens when my plans are frustrated... because that does happen every day. Things come up. And if I know myself and I think I do, I am going to be super frustrated, and I will want to give up.

First: "Commit your work to the Lord , and your plans will be established. " Proverbs 16:3
I need to make sure that the plans I have made are ones that God would have me make. They need to be in accordance with what He has already shown me and will show me delights Him. This way when my plans are interrupted I will have a good idea of whether to go with the flow or hold fast to the schedule. I think they call this straightening out my priorities.

Secondly: "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." Proverbs 19:21
I need to surrender my plans to Him everyday, this will not always mean abandoning my schedule, sometimes when things come up I will have to choose the schedule over the interruption (ie. Discipline). Deciding between sticking with the schedule or overriding it, requires God. That is where my relationship with Christ, my dependence and commitment to Him comes in. He will provide the wisdom I need to make the decisions I need to make.

Lastly: WORK! Discipline. I already know what things have to go, and I am already wishing I didn't have to. But! No one said it would be easy or that I would think it was fun... at least not yet. When I gave up TV, I wasn't sorry. So likely, by and by, I will not miss these things either.
Submission to Christ and His plans for day to day living are part of what makes a girl a woman. The discipline is glorifying God part. I get to make decisions moment by moment that show the world that Christ is more valuable than even the most precious resource we have (time).

Times up! Have to go! :-)

Faithful and Big

2010-01-04T07:59:00.000-08:00

2 Samuel 22:31 "As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him."

Twenty-ten! Are you kidding me? I feel like a little kid getting ready to ride the Superman rollercoaster at Six Flags. You know the feeling of being forced into a seat, all too near the front, by a pushing, anxious crowd? I can just see myself being strapped into that seat and nervously waiting for it all to start. Just when I've talked myself into a calm-ish state and feel somewhat prepared for the trip ahead the floor drops out from under your feet. That is when it gets interesting.

Staring into the face of year 2010 would not be possible for me if it were not for two truths. Though when you see which truths I am talking about you might laugh because they are so basic, but for me they seem to need constant reinforcement, constant testing and rehashing. Going through year 2010 will not be possible for me if I do not hold onto these truths for dear life, as I might cling to the harness or buckle in a rollercoaster.

The first securing truth: God's faithfulness to me in the past, and His promise of faithfulness in the future.

Jude 1:24-25 "Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen."

The fact that God is faithful and will be faithful is the grace that gives me the strength/grace to be faithful to Him as well. Christ's faithfulness (in sanctification) to present me faultless before God Almighty and All Holy. In God's faithfulness to receive of my life glory and honor gives me so much peace that I can actually enjoy the sanctification process. I cannot ruin His plans. I cannot ruin His glory. YAY!!!! By the mercy and grace of God, by the reality of HIS faithfulness I can be faithful in laying down my life, my greatest desires, my most treasured friendships, possesions and aspirations for the glory of this faithful King.

" I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service." - Romans 12:1

Ahh, that hits close to home. Reasonable service. It gets me everytime. Yes, it is my reasonable service, and I am delighted to do it in light of so great a Salvation,and so great a God. Which brings me to the other securing truth.

The fact that God's plans cannot be frustrated. They cannot be stopped by me nor can they be stopped by someone else.

Psalm 135: 5-7 " For I know that the LORD is great, and that our Lord is above all gods. Whatever the LORD pleases, he does, in heaven and on earth, in the sease and all the deeps. He it is who makes the clouds rise at the end of the earth, who makes lightnings for the rain and brings forth the wind from his storehouses."

I used to think that I was a great believer in God's Soveriegnty. ("He that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall") I remember saying, "I just can't fellowship with this person because they don't believe in the Sovereignty of God!" At least this person is honest about their unbelief, because when "push came to shove" I obviously didn't believe in the Sovereignty of God either. I have been so fearful to make a decision, and fearful about the decisions and actions of other people that will directly affect me. I allowed this sin full reign and made it a comfy place in my heart. So proud... So proud to think that others or that I could frustrate Gods plans. So selfish to serve my plans instead of the Lord. So unfaithful and idolitrious to behave as a victum in the hand of a little god (my own creation). So vile to rebel against those laws and governors that God has placed in my life to instruct and direct me. Wow. God's grace must be very very great! I have found myself crying several times, Oh WRETCHED MAN THAT I AM!!! Thank God, for Jesus Christ, who is a GREAT Savior. For by His greatness I have hope!

Do you know what makes a rollercoaster fun? The buckle. I garuntee you, they would not be fun if I couldn't be strapped in securely. I love roller coasters, and I feel certain that as a servant of this Faithful and Soveriegn God I will love year 2010 complete with its twists, turns, dips, and speed. It is in His hands and He is my buckler.

" I am God. and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, 'My cousnel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose.'" - Isaiah 46:9-10
Amen!

Thou Who thus has loved me, give me love like this!

2009-11-22T14:44:00.000-08:00

Many crowd the Savior's Kingdom,
Few recieve His Cross,
Many seek His consolation,
Few will suffer loss
For the dear sake of the Master,
Counting all but dross.

Many sit at Jesus' table,
Few will fast with him
When the sorrow cup of anguish
Trembles to the brim-
Few watch with Him in the garden
Who have sung the hymn.

Many will confess His wisdom,
Few embrace His shame,
Many, should He smile upon them,
Will His praise proclaim;
Then, if for a while He leave them,
They desert His Name.

But the souls who love Him truly
Whether for woe or bliss,
These will count their truest heart's blood
Not their own but His;
Saviour, Thou Who thus hast loved me,
Give me love like this.

-Unknown Author

Saviour, Thou Who thus hast loved me, give me love like this!

<3

2009-11-22T14:38:00.000-08:00

From prayer that asks that I may be
Sheltered from the winds that beat on Thee,
From fearing when I should aspire,
From faltering when I should climb higher,
From silken self, O Captain, free
Thy soldier who would follow Thee.

From subtle love of softening things,
From easy choices, weakenings,
Not thus are spirits fortified,
Not this way went the Crucified,
From all that dims Thy Calvary,
O Lamb of God, deliver me.

Give me the love that leads the way,
The faith that nothing can dismay
The hope no dissapointments tire,
The passion that will burn like fire,
Let me not sink to be a clod:
Make me Thy fuel, Flame of God.

-Amy Carmichael

Delight

2009-11-21T11:20:00.000-08:00

I LOVE GOD. Talking about Him, hearing about Him, reading about Him, and thinking about Him are the greatest pleasures of my existence. I was thinking about Joel Osteen the other day when I saw the cover of one of his books. His smile was so big it was about to split his face wide open. The name of the book, I cannot remember, but it was something about the joy of the Lord and finding strength in God. As I turned the book over I thought, "This man delights in God too!" How can that be?! He seems happy to talk about God. He has devoted countless hours to writing about God and teaching things about Him. He seems overall delighted in his relationship with God. I think that it is fair to say that if I asked him what he enjoyed the most he would say that God was what he enjoyed the most. So I was wondering and asking God the difference was between my delight in God and Joel's?

It is a good thing to delight in the Lord, and Scriptures talk about it numerous times. David talks about how much he loves God and delights in His commands. Also, Psalm 14:1 "A fool hath said in his heart there is no God". Even Darwin was blown away with the brilliant design of the eyeball, and himself said that considering evolution when looking at the eyeball was... absurd. Of course only God could have created that! So basically the fact that I delight in God just shows me that I am not stupid. Even people who don't believe in God find Him amazing. And there I was thinking that Joel and I were something for delighting in God. Pshaw! There was needed hit to my pride. :-) God is a brilliant Creator, perfectly perfect; He mightily mighty; He is justly just; He is honestly honest, and this list goes on. Who couldn't delight in that?! THAT is humbling and rightfully so!!

So all this brought me to an entirely new question: The question is not who delights in God... The question is who does God delight in? Jeremiah 9:23-24 is just one of the verses that lets us know what God delights in.

"Thus says the Lord: Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the LORD."

And as it says in Jeremiah 9:23 and 24, and in many other places in the scripture God delights in steadfast love, justice and righteousness. He hates selfishness, unjust behavior, and unrighteous acts, thoughts, etc,. The only one that God could possibly delight in is Christ. By this standard Joel Osteen and Grace Chambers are what my brother would call "Epic Failures". On the other hand, Christ is the only one who meets that standard of being steadfastly loving, just, and righteous. God recognized this, and told us all through His Word (several times) that He did delight in His Son. "This is my Son in whom I am well pleased." (Matthew 3:17, 12:18, 17:5, Mark 1:11, Luke 3:22) To gain the delight of God we must be sinless as Christ, which is what Christ made possible at the cross for those who will repent of the way we want to live and will give our life to follow Him. Sadly this just might be where Joel and I are different... Anyone can delight in God, but to gain the delight of God that is what is truly important.

Matthew 7:22-23 "Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity."

So the point of sharing this whole thing is this: Are you one who delights in God, but finds that God cannot delight in you? You aren't the only one. God has said that many people delight in Him, in His strength and power, but He finds no delight in them, because of their sin. (Matthew 7:23, and 25:41)The difference between you and them is that you are on this side of judgement and you can find forgiveness and freedom from sin now, through Christ. Don't delay. It truly is a delight to know that I not only can delight in God now but that I will be able to delight in Him throughout all eternity.

One Day Closer

2009-11-15T20:20:00.000-08:00

Luke 12:37-38 "Blessed are those servants, whom the lord when he cometh shall find watching: verily I say unto you, that he shall gird himself, and make them to sit down to meat, and will come forth and serve them. And if he shall come in the second watch, or come in the third watch, and find them so, blessed are those servants."

These verses make me so excited! Jesus really is coming and He is coming soon. I cannot wait for that day, but one thing I would love to know: Will I be ready? Will He find me watching and working diligently, faithfully for Him? What exactly will I be doing when He does come?

When Jesus comes (if He comes while I live) I want Him to find me on the edge of my seat so to speak, ready to bounce out of this world into the next at any moment. I want to be enjoying the daylights out of Him, His Word, His glory, etc. Wouldn't it be nice (I think I am speaking mostly to girls with these examples. :-)) to meet Christ having been a faithful and submissive worker like Ruth, or a bold ambassador like Esther? Wouldn't it be wonderful to be found a faithful sutdent of God's Word like Mary? I think any of these would be wonderful, but I wonder how I will meet Him?

While I am still in bed because of this "character building" (lol) surgery, I have had time to think about what I should be doing when I actually can move. :-) Here is one of the verses I have been thinking about:

Jesus said in John 9:4 "I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work."

These last few months have drug by so slowly I felt like time had literally stopped. Thankfully it didn't. :-) Even as slow as these last months have been... they are gone and they are not coming back. My time on this earth is very short. I got here just a few years ago and I'll be leaving soon too. The thought of this could send me into a panic attack, "SO-gasp-MUCH-gasp TO DO gasp!" However it doesn't, because I know that what I have done or will do has nothing to do with whether or not I am Christ's and He is mine. That being said what I am doing on earth is a prelude to what I will be doing in heaven. So I really cannot be waiting until then to get started. Now is the time to obey, now is the time to repent, now is the time to praise, now is the time to thank, now is the time to worship, etc, etc, you get the idea.

1 John 4:10 "Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son [to be] the propitiation for our sins."

Wow! That is great great love. And we only love Him because He first loved us. When you do something for someone you love, does it feel like a chore? NO. It really doesn't. It is a pleasure. It is delightful, fun, thrilling, and every other good word there I can't think of at this moment. So if obeying God is so easy and fun, why don't I do it? Well that is the difference between here and heaven. My redeemed spirit wars constantly against my flesh, and that is what makes this rough. But I don't have to be afraid because Christ overcame the world and He will provide a way of escape from temptation. He is very faithful. Now back to what I meant to talk about: What kind of things do I need to be doing to get ready for His coming? How can I trim my lamps, and tirelessly watch for Him?

I can be about what He has given me to do NOW. Broadly speaking this would be like, studying the Scriptures, encouraging my family, and fellow brothers and sisters in Christ (the Church), sharing the gospel, etc. Specifically it means that I have to stop wasting time. There are so many time wasting traps these days, that before I even realize it I am sucked these traps. But God has asked that I be READY when He comes, and that means putting away the distractions that have nothing to do with watching for Him. Guys, He is coming and coming soon!

"Be ye therefore ready also for the Son of man cometh at an hour when ye think not." -Matthew 25:40

May the Lord Find Us Faithful by Mac Lynch

2009-11-01T18:08:00.000-08:00

"God has not given us the spirit of fear, But has given us the strength to obey.
With power and sound mind, with love the unfailing kind, Oh, be not ashamed of His way.

[Chorus] May the Lord find us faithful, May His Word be our banner held high.
May the Lord find us faithful, Everyday tho' we live tho' we die.

No man that seeketh after things of this life, Is a soldier, who passes the test.
Be faithful, be working, be running, be serving, Be searching His word for His best.

[Chorus] May the Lord find us faithful, May His Word be our banner held high.
May the Lord find us faithful, Everyday tho' we live tho' we die.

Living or dying may honor be Thine. From this wretched life, You loved and forgave.
A life that is on fire, be only our heart's desire, Be faithful from now to the grave.

May the Lord find us faithful. May His Word be our banner held high. May the Lord find us faithful every moment, Every day, every hour! Everyday tho' we live tho' we die..."

This song is so beautiful and so very encouraging. The tune is very catchy too (can't get it out of my head today), but I can't find it on youtube, so you will just have to imagine it. :-)

Grace for Eeyore? Or Eeyore for Grace?

2009-10-24T04:18:00.000-07:00

Lately my dad and others have been concerned with my lack of cheerfulness, and for a while I blew him off saying that I was just becoming more mature and thinking realistically. But I am pretty sure that is just an excuse. :-) The truth is I don't feel cheerful. I have been worried about this or that, or this or that makes my heart heavy, and I remind myself of Eeyore. :-)

The world says (and the Bible says the world says), to know your heart is the most important thing. So my heart feels "uncheerful", therefore I am not cheerful. But that isn't truth. The Lord has given me a command to be cheerful.

"Rejoice in the Lord alway: [and] again I say, Rejoice." -Phil 4:4

If that were the only verse commanding me to rejoice, I might be able to make myself forget it. But if you have a chance you should check out Phil. 3:1, Hab. 3:18, Ps.32:11, Ps. 20:5, 1Chronicles 16:10, or 2Chronicles 6:4. What struck me the most about these verses is that they all claim to find joy from the same place. Has the Eeyore in me forgotten something?

All of these verses are talking about the salvation of their God. God has saved me and delivered me from death, destruction and judgement. Were I to have no other good thing in my life, no family, no health, no nothin', salvation and a relationship with the Everlasting Father should be enough to supply me with joy unspeakable.

Another verse says, (Proverbs 15:13) "A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken." The Lord has given me a heart of flesh and that is a happy thing that should give me a happy countenance. It is important that I learn to reject those "feelings" that forget God, and "un-happiness" is one of them.

Do you know what has made it so much easier to be cheerful? Remembering what I have to be cheerful about. Remembering the sacrifice of the Lord, remembering that one day I will be with Him, remembering that He has overcome this world already. When God corrects my thinking and gives me a "right mind" (Mark 5:15), it is easy to then correct my emotions and feelings. Eeyore is gone and rejoicing is finally here! That is the beauty of the Word of God and that is the grace He has poured out on me today.

Ashamed of Jesus?

2009-09-27T11:17:00.005-07:00

Lord, Jesus, shall it ever be,
A mortal man ashamed of Thee?
Ashamed of Thee whom angels praise,
Whose glories shine through endless days?

Ashamed of Jesus? Sooner far
Let evening blush to own a star!
He sheds His beams of love divine
Into this darkened soul of mine.

Ashamed of Jesus? Just as soon
Let midnight be ashamed of noon.
'Tis midnight with my soul till He,
Bright Morning Star, bids darkness flee.

Ashamed of Jesus? That dear Friend
On Whom my hopes of heav'n depend.
No, when I blush be this my shame,
That I have not proclaimed His Name.

Ashamed of Jesus? Yes, I may
When I've no guilt to wash away,
No tears to wipe, no grace to crave,
No fears to quell, no soul to save! No soul to save!

Till then, nor is my boasting vain,
Till then I boast a Savior slain!
But, oh! May this my glory be,
That He is not ashamed of me!

God has been gracious to me.

2009-09-22T18:43:00.000-07:00

"Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men! " -Ps. 107:8 and 15 and 21 AND 31 ;-)

Dear Friends,

I don't have anything great to say on my 21st birthday (lol. as if I ever do). I have tried a million times to write a million new posts and nothing decent ever comes of those posts. There are too many lessons and too many different things going on around here, and I just cannot collect it all into one post. I am sorry but this will have to do, okay? :-) Here is what is going on:

I miss my friends. I miss my family (Charity, Justin, Courtney and Dan, etc.). I miss my church. I am having a really hard time focusing on school. I feel a little displaced and yet perfectly placed in that displacement... as if I am gonna be here a while. :-) Its pretty awkward, just so you know. :-)

But just when I am about to cry, because I miss the old things and people so much, and just when I think I have had enough or too much, God reminds me of the cross. Jesus died there. He gave up His house, His friends, His family, all good and great pursuits, and professions, and all "success", pleasure and finally His life. His sacrifice spared me. At this point I am usually sobbing, but not because I want those things so much anymore but because I have been so ungrateful. It is heartbreaking that it is so easy to forget the Treasure of heaven that was poured out for me, and all I can think about is "home".

There is a song by Twila Paris called, Beautiful, and one line says, "How beautiful, when humble hearts give the fruit of pure lives so that others may live. How beautiful..." Christ did that. He GREATLY humbled Himself and gave the fruit of a pure life so that I could live. I am a servant of God, and a recipiant of His extravagant grace/mercy. I have to humble myself and live a pure life, glorifying the Father just as the Son did.

God is really changing my heart, and I am so glad. I don't want to regret the way I clung to earthly things when I get to heaven. I don't want to be sorry for the things I pursued with my (youth and strength) life here on earth. So I hope He continues to change me and correct me where I am proud and demanding/ungrateful towards Him. YUCK!

This has been one of my happiest birthdays, because God's works have been wonderful in my life. They are not what I expected or even what I thought I wanted but they are wonderful and good (by His definition :-)). And even though I just finished saying how much I miss the old things, God has blessed me so much here. He has brought Christian fellowship, and jobs, and things to do, and I have schools, classes, and books coming out my ears. So praise God for year 20. Praise Him for all He has given and for all He has taken away. I am really looking forward to year 21.

Bow the Knee

2009-08-27T18:32:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrOTIu7e8Uw Please listen to this song on youtube. You will not be sorry. :-)

This is such a beautiful song and so important for me to remember these days. God has brought a couple circumstances to my attention that I know for a fact I can do nothing about, and yet those situations cause me a lot of discomfort. At first this made me mad, but God in His grace reminded me that He is God. He has redeemed me and I now belong to Him in every sense of that word. He did not promise me the "good/prosperous" life, but He has promised me Himself.
There are tons of places in Psalms where David talks about God being his portion and his reward from this life, and these have really comforted me:

"Thou art my portion, O LORD: I have said that I would keep thy words." -Ps. 119:57
" My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever." -Ps. 73:26
" The LORD [is] the portion of mine inheritance and of my cup: thou maintainest my lot." -Ps. 16:5

So in a kinda creepy way I am enjoying this strong discomfort, because God reminds me that while this life may be pretty uncomfortable/unpleasant for me; He is a more than sufficient reward. I have given my life and my soul to Him and that means that I do not have the right to demand the pleasures found in this life. While He is ever faithful and cares very much for me, He is ever the Lord.
I absolutely must bow the knee to Almighty God in everything (including these circumstances). I also must submit my life to Him, and stop desiring/following/pursuing the things of this world. It is hard for me to write this, but I know it is the truth. And I can remember and be comforted that He is not a "hard" Master, but He is THE Master. There is nothing for me here, but my reward will only be found in God. I pray God will continue to bring me to my knees before Him and help me to submit to Him in every situation no matter how uncomfortable it is. Even though it HURRRRTS! :-)
Hope you enjoy that song as much as I did. :-)

"Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present [you] faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, To the only wise God our Saviour, [be] glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen." Jude 1:24-25

Looking up

2009-08-11T06:40:00.000-07:00

When I hear my Dad say "Grace, you need to be thinking outside the box" (one of his favorite phrases), my heart sinks. Creativity is NOT my strong point, and that is what he wants, right? I am learning something about "looking outside of the box"; it isn't actually as hard as I used to think it was. I think my most creative ideas have come from stepping back and looking at the big picture. What are the needs? How can they be met? So basically my dad is just asking me to find the answer that works. It's there; it is just not at that moment apparent.

I love the book of Philippians (in the Bible) and it is from this book that God has revealed His call to me. He has called me to creativity or "looking up".

"Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus: Who being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross." -Phil. 2:4-8

If you are like me, semi-normal, you have a lot to do. And things and issues crowd your day until you fall into bed exausted late at night (or early morning). For some of you, mere survival takes up most of your day, how can there possibly be any time left for one more thing? There seems to be in that kind of day no room for more attention to others or other's things. How can we be asked to look on things of others when we barely (and I mean barely) have room for our "things". This is where creativity and looking up come into play.

Actually looking on the things of others is more about the heart than anything else. Of course! I love Mark Cahill's quote "money isn't about money, it is about the heart." Is our heart right about the things we are doing? There are times when parents or

It is so natural for me to go about the day working, studying, and interacting with people in a selfish way. But God has called me and redeemed me from that way of thinking to a new life wherein I can have a new mind of selfless humility in serving, living, yea, dying for other's things. It requires creativity, because this is not natural. It requires creativity because it doesn't seem possible. We have a responsibility to be responsible. However creativity is not that hard. It is the answer that works and the answer that is already there.

So stepping back, what is the big picture? Life isn't about me. It will not effect eternity if my personal desire to one day become a nurse is not realized... All of heaven will not be shaken if I am not one day a wonderful, responsible, cheerful, good and virtuous wife and mother... And as far as short term desires: I will still be a Christian if I don't get to hear the latest episode of Wretched Radio, or Paul Washer's sermon. I will not be overweight tomorrow if I don't get the best workout today... So my plans and desires are very much interupt-able. Is that a word? That's a humbling thought, but it should be. Life is about God, His goals, His plans done His way. Life is about anything and everything that magnifies God.

And what is the answer that is there and yet not apparent? The answer seems to be in having the mindset of Christ. The attitude of a bond-servant (if you will) giving up ones own desires and dreams to serve their master because of the love one has for their master seems to be the right attitude.

In this same book, Paul talks about a selfless man who served Paul's needs without regard to his own physical needs. Wow! Paul says, "Hold such a one in reputation."

So my challenge is to "look up!" What is going on around me? .

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." -John 15:13
"And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also." -1John 4:21

Secrets!

2009-08-07T09:18:00.000-07:00

It is August, and "Grace Every Day" has become more like "Grace Every Month or So..." It is not that I am not experiencing God's grace everyday and really every moment of my life, but rather how can I do all these stories, of God's unbelievable grace, justice in a blog?

Since I am unable to write about everything going on in my life, today, I will just write about secrets.

My family has never been good at keeping secrets from each other until recently, and now all of the sudden everyone is good at it. They don't tell me anything they shouldn't, and I don't them anything I shouldn't. We all get frustrated with each others new ability to be discreet. However, God has shown me the grace found in secrets. This is really weird for me, but I no longer HAVE to KNOW what going on or what is coming. In fact it is pretty much fine if I never know... Here is what I am learning about secrets:

There is a verse about secrets in the Bible (Proverbs 25:2) that says, "[It is] the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings [is] to search out a matter."

What kind of secrets does God have? What is He concealing? How do these secrets bring Him glory? I can think of two big things God conceals. He conceals Himself. He conceals the future.

Sometimes God conceals Himself completely from a person. They never understand salvation in this life. They never understand His power, or His Deity, or even the fact that He is the their Creator. The fact that some people will never know God as their Savior does not at first glance seem glorifying of God at all. It is a very offensive truth with which lots of us struggled. God is not mean, right? However there are even secrets the children of God will not understand this side of heaven. There are still parts of His character and many of His ways and decisions that we do not understand. Wouldn't it be nice to know NOW? How is this secret keeping glorifying to God?

One way God's secret keeping brings Him glory is that it forces me (and all people) to realize that this life is NOT ABOUT ME, it is about Him. God does not owe the understanding of His character or His ways (I thought He did until I read Job 38-42:6). He does not owe me or salvation or grace. He is above and I am below. I am His creation; He is my Creator. When I understand who He is, the Lord of all, who answers to no one, and is yet perfectly gracious and holy, I can no longer have a problem with what He has chosen to do? And yet I must continue doing what is right in His eyes though I don't know/understand what is going on. It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, if only for the purpose of reminding me of my place and of His place in life as I know it. How gracious He is in reminding me of this truth.

Now God's concealment of the future is tough. There are times when I would give my front tooth to know what was coming. :-) But that isn't how it works... and lately it isn't how I want it to work. How does this concealment of my future bring Him glory? Boy, do I know the answer to this question. When He conceals my future, even the next moment of time, I am forced to cling to His promises, to His Word, to Him. This is so gracious, because I know myself. In the pride of my heart, were I to know what was coming, I would forget about God and do things my own way. I would "lean" on my OWN limited and depraved understanding of things and make my decisions accordingly.

God's concealment of things does bring Him glory, and He is worthy of that glory. But that wasn't the end of the verse, though it could have been. The end of the verse said that it is the honor (Honor spelt with an "ou" to be exact. KJV, you know :-)) of kings to search out a matter. Those of us to whom God has graciously revealed Himself, and even those to whom He has not yet revealed Himself, have the great honor of looking into the secrets of God. It doesn't mean we will understand all of these secrets (though we may), but we have the honor of a personal relationship with the Almighty God who is willing to reveal His glory/His secrets to us. What an unspeakable honor! I'll take it! :-)

So here is the moral of this blog post: Secrets can be really really good things, but only when they are kept and revealed at the right time. So don't tell your secrets and don't force others to tell theirs, until it is time for those secrets to be revealed. While we are waiting for all of those delightful secrets to come out, we have plenty to occupy our minds with looking into the deep secrets of our God.

Daniel 2:20-22 "Daniel answered and said, Blessed be the name of God for ever and ever: for wisdom and might are his: And he changeth the times and the seasons: he removeth kings, and setteth up kings: he giveth wisdom unto the wise, and knowledge to them that know understanding: He revealeth the deep and secret things: he knoweth what [is] in the darkness, and the light dwelleth with him."

Faith to Embrace the Future

2009-06-22T11:33:00.001-07:00

So as many of you know we are moving in T-minus a few days. It is really hard/exciting for all of us. It is exciting to be going into a new place and meeting more people, but it is so hard to leave all of our friends here. I am so glad to be going where God is leading me, but I cannot help but wish that He will lead me back to Texas one day.

Texas (more specifically the people I met in Texas, which includes those of you from EXCEL) will always and forever have a very special place in my heart. It was here that God changed my heart to follow and love Him. You all were so challenging, inspiring, and encouraging. Thank you for allowing God to use you in such awesome ways in my life. You cannot possibly know the impact you have made on my life. You cannot possibly know how many thank you's I owe each of you. Though I spent the rest of my life trying to thank each of you I would hardly scratch the surface. So I have to be content with this post, and prayer for God (who has seen and counted all the blessings that you have blessed me with) to bless you. I know that He will.

Right now I am praying that I will have the faith to embrace the future. And if God brings us to your mind please pray that we will embrace the changes that God has planned for us (both spiritual and physical) in Kansas. I know that there is something (at least) that will not change and that is the goodness of God towards both you and me. I can safely and happily leave you guys in His hands knowing that the grace He has shown me He will continue to show you. I love all of you and hope that we will be able to keep in touch... especially since someone has invented all of these awesome gadgets for keeping in touch long distance (e-mail, facebook, blogs, phone, etc.). God bless you guys!!

The work of Gods hands: my life, your life

2009-03-19T18:50:00.000-07:00

It has been so beautiful outside for the past couple of days. The sky is so clear. The temperature is perfect.

There is a tree in my backyard that is especially caught my eye today. It is a short tree, like all the trees in Texas, but its branches are far reaching and thick with those brand new spring-green leaves. I have never been so impressed by the beauty of a tree. I just had to say, "WOW!" out loud (really loud), even though I was by myself. (Weird I know, but you can't tell me you don't sing loud and talk to yourself in the car when no one is with you.)

"It is a good thing to give thanks unto the LORD, and to sing praises unto thy name, O Most High: To show forth thy loving kindness in the morning, and thy faithfulness every night, Upon an instrument of ten strings, and upon the psaltery; upon the harp with a solemn sound. For thou, LORD hast made me glad through the work of thy hands. O Lord, how great are thy works! and thy thoughts are very deep." -Psalm 92:1-5

There are three things that I am having a really hard time with:
First, I don't understand the direction God is taking my life. It seems disjointed. It is like a puzzle to which I am missing half of the pieces. It doesn't look like anything yet. Second, I don't like my spiritual gift (which I think is mercy). I feel like I have been misusing it... I have a lot of difficulty in discerning when to be merciful and comforting and when to be firm. So my solution to this has been to go from one extreme to the next. One day NO ONE gets away with ANYTHING. Then the next day, I am so sorry for the previous day, I let everything slide. It is incredibly frustrating (to everyone). No one knows what kind of response to expect from me anymore. Thirdly, I am worried about some of my friends and family. I see them going through difficulties and I think I can help. But I don't know if I should say something or if it is none of my business. Even if it was right to help them, I don't know what to do. What I think they need may not be what they need at all, and it might just make things worse. It is like I am watching someone, from the side, scaling a mountain without a safety rope or anything. I know nothing about that kind of climbing, so as they struggle to keep their life and limbs, I see sweat drip from their chin and I yell, " You want a popsicle!" (or something totally random like that).

I was praying about all of this while walking back from my run. God really impressed me with the beauty of the fields, birds and bugs (butterflies) that I was walking past. Everything was so nice, but when I saw the beautiful tree in the backyard that was it. It just took my breath away, and at that time God reminded me of the verses that I wrote above (see above). :-) The tree and all of the beautiful nature around me is the work of His hands. I couldn't add one thing to make it more beautiful or to improve on it in any small way. It was perfect. Then He reminded me that I too am the work of His hands. He is leading my life in the direction He wants it to go. He gave me the gifts He knew would be best. And not only does He know exactly what He is doing with me but He knows exactly what He is doing with everyone else too. We are all the work of His hands.

My lesson today was to praise God even when I have no clue what He is doing. He showed me that regardless of how everything looks to me (good or bad) I need to be praising all the works of His hands. Though I still don't know what God is doing in my life or in the lives of other very dear people, I do know that it is always worthy of praise. And like the Psalm says, it is a good thing. :-)

I am Learning in Whatsoever STATE I am in Therewith to Be Content

2009-03-07T19:51:00.000-08:00

Contentment. I have been the model of anything but contentment for the past... well never mind how long. I am surprised every day at the way things have turned out (or not turned out) for my family and me.

Still yet, we have no word on the move. Is it coming? Is it not? God, will You not let me plan? Will you not give me a heads up? For what should I prepare? How can I be ready? When will I know for sure?

And it isn't just the move. There are so many uncertainties right now. I have no idea how God is going to take me from where I am, and make me the most perfect and successful Christian woman ever. I just don't see how it is going to work, anymore.

But whenever I draw breath between the thousands of "future" questions I am asking God every day, He says "If everything really did go completely 'wrong' with this move and your future in general would you still trust me?" He is saying that my life isn't about getting from point A to point B, nor is it about realizing my dreams and becoming a successful woman of God. My life is about realizing the dreams of my God and embracing them. Life is actually supposed to be all about Him. Who knew?!

Truly, Ruth (from the Bible) was a very virtuous woman from whom I could use some lessons. I think that she not only understood contentment but she put it to practiced. She recognized that life was about the Living God and not about her. I know in my head that life is not about me and my pleasure/dreams, but in my heart there is no proof of this knowledge. Ruth was willing to be apart of His plan even if that didn't include good things for her. I want this attitude too. One of "OK, God, lead on because not only am I going to follow, but I am going to rejoice in the fact that I am following YOU!" I think that was Ruth's attitude. Don't you?

Paul, or whoever wrote Hebrews (13:5) wrote, "Let your conversation [be] without covetousness; [and be] content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. " According to the Scripture, contentment doesn't come from pleasant or good circumstances, and it doesn't come from bad or harsh circumstances. Contentment comes from enjoying the fact that Christ is with me and will not leave.

*I had to laugh when I came across the verse: Philippians 4:11 "Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever STATE I am, [therewith] to be content." He must have been thinking of me when He wrote this. That is pretty good isn't it?

Love's Simplicity... or not.

2009-01-26T18:23:00.000-08:00

Love is the most pleasant experience, in this life, and it is one of the only things that will count in eternity. Whether you have been loved by someone or have the good fortune of loving someone you have to agree that it is truly wonderful. I know of no other feeling like it. I know of nothing for which I would trade it.

The most beautiful love story of all time is the story of Christ. Novelists have tried to write one so beautiful and have come as close as possible with human characters and minds. But Christ's selfless life and selfless death, even in the face of complete rejection by those He loved, is such an astounding story that it is hard for us to imagine a better.

Did you know that Christ actually died of a broken heart? He did. A heart doctor said that it is the only way water and blood could have poured from His wound. The Psalms prophesied that He would die of a broken heart. Ps. 22:14 "I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint: my heart is like wax; it is melted in the midst of my bowels. " Can you imagine actually dying of a broken heart? It wasn't the cross that killed our lover, it was our rejection of His love. Can you imagine the pain of a bursting heart?

So, is it impossible to love like this? Is it possible to love so freely, fully and selflessly as to be in danger of a (physically)broken heart? The Bible says, (1 John 4:7) "Love is of God... for God is love". Does this mean that everyone, that knows God, loves? It didn't say that, but at least I know it is possible to truly love. True love is possible for someone who knows God.

I am praying for Christ-like love and it scares me. Because Christ-like love means a love full of truth, full of faith, and is completely selfless. Christ was persecuted and hated. No one at the time took pleasure in His love or even recognized it as love. Even as he died the ones who loved him most forsook him, and is this the life I want? No. How could I? Like most, I want to love and be loved in return. I want to be delighted in and cared for even as I delight in and care for someone else. Seems pure enough, right? It is also known as a 50/50 deal. I will do to you what I want you to do to me. But if you ever love me less I will love you less in return. This is the worlds love and it cannot endure.

The lasting love of Christ must be unconditional. It is a love that will never fail because it does not depend on circumstances, it doesn't depend on another persons feelings or actions. It is His character, not His mood or His response. So this kind of love can also be my character. Love, for me, must no longer be a mood or a response. Wow. Let it be, Lord, in my life let this be!

His Plan; His Time

2009-01-25T13:16:00.000-08:00

Today, I heard a missionary from Brazil speak. At first I wasn't too impressed with him (he didn't have a very neat DVD presentation at the beginning), but when he got up to preach I was amazed at his faith and the message God gave him for me.

Luke 19:10 "For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost. "

In the beginning of the sermon he reminded us of the great sacrifice that Christ paid for us. Christ gave up all His heavenly glory and became a poor man. He, the only precious Son of God, lived among us and with us, only to die taking on all of the sin of the world. He spared nothing for us... for me, but laid His life down to redeem me and make me a child of God.

The pastor went on to explain the meaning of redemption. It means to be rescued permanently from a certain place or punishment, to be completely made acceptable when before one was unacceptable.

The missionary then asked, "Why do you continue to make your own plans, telling God what things He can and cannot touch? Why do you tell God that now is not the time, and you can't obey today? Christ kept nothing back from you; you have no right to keep any dream, any time, any part of your life back from Him who saved you from eternal damnation. And why do we constantly believe the lie and think that Christ lived and died to redeem us, that he left glory and came to complete rejection so that when we give our lives to Him he can drag us through the muck of the earth? He did all this so that He could make us miserable? Why do we think God's plans and God's timing is a bad thing? Isn't He the one who before the world began, planned a wonderful redemption, and hasn't He already planned a wonderful eternal life? Why can't we trust His timing in His plans for our lives."

Right here, I started to cry (I've been a bit emotional lately), because this is so true in my life. I hold certain things out of God's reach (supposedly); certain things He may not touch. Certain things I have carefully planned and I am not willing for God to revise my plans, let alone replace them. I think that my plans are more likely to make me happy and be good for me than His. I have believed the lie. But the Bible says that life without God leads to death. It also says that His thoughts are higher than mine, so wouldn't His plans be? This is what the Bible says about God's plans for my future, this is the truth:

Ps. 84:11 "For the LORD God [is] a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good [thing] will he withhold from them that walk uprightly. "

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."

John 10:10 "... I am come that they might have life, and that they might have [it] more abundantly. "

Christ said that he came to give us life and to give us life more and greater than what we think we can have. However, every time I chose my own way over His it is adding to the wood and stubble that will burn on judgement day. Only where I fit into His (good) plans and His will, will remain that day.

Do I have dreams? Yes. Are they all God's will? We have to see, but praise God, He has good dreams for me and I can trust Him with my most precious dream. He has redeemed me, not to give me the short end of the stick, but to give me life abundantly. Thank you, Lord, for this day.

Jude 1:24-25 " Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present [you] faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, To the only wise God our Saviour, [be] glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen."

Bad Dreams

2009-01-20T10:42:00.000-08:00

I don't know how many people out there are afraid of the dark, or afraid of bad dreams, but I am pretty sure you weren't as bad as I was. As little girl, and even as a big girl I was terrified of being alone in the dark, or being awake in the dark. It wasn't until later that the fears of darkness carried over into fears of bad dreams as well. At one point in my life I was dreading night time so bad that I would stay up as long as possible and then would wake up at four or five in the morning (this is when I was 10 or 11). I would turn on all the major lights in the house, even extra lamps to take out those creepy shadows. Then I would sit upright in a chair and wait for everyone else in my house to wake up. It was pretty pitiful.
The night before last I had another bad dream. In my dream I aided some people who were sinning. I knew they were doing things that offended God and didn't stop them. My apathy and selfishness was huge, and when I finally woke up I felt so guilty. I didn't know what to do with the guilt. At first I tried to just shake it off, I thought it was just a dream. Shaking it off didn't turn out to be an option. The dream haunted me or taunted me all day. I had to deal with this.
The Bible says that men look on the outward appearance but God looks on the heart. It says that our iniquities are not hid from Him but they are open and before His face. King David, the man who wrote most of the Psalms, asked God to show him his secret faults. He understood that there were sins in his life, blind-spots, that he couldn't see. I think this apathy in my dream is, though seemingly on a lesser scale, a sin in my heart. I find it very difficult to confront people when they are doing something that is wrong. My fears have been so great that some people feel comfortable committing sin in front of me... and still I say nothing. This emboldens the enemy, and this helps my friends feel better about the sin they are committing.
The next day I brought this before the Lord and asked him for forgiveness for this dream, and for my sin of apathy in real life. I asked Him to forgive me and deliver me from this apathy towards sin. He did. He showed me that I needed to purify my mind with His Word. King David said, (Ps. 119) "Wherewith all shall a young man cleanse his way, by taking heed thereto according to thy word. With my whole heart have I sought Thee, O, let me not wonder from thy commandments. Thy word have I hid in my heart, that I might not sin against thee." Also, I need to stand bold for Christ, against sin in my own life as well as in the lives of my friends. If God isn't okay with it, I can't be either.
You know the great thing is that in Christ, even bad dreams have good endings. Even though I have bad dreams the Lord teaches me so much the next day. Just goes to show you that a Soldier of Christ is never off duty. :-)

Greater is He

2009-01-17T18:02:00.000-08:00

Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. (1 John 4:4)

I am having trouble writing tonight. I feel like the dam has broken on me and my family. We are as busy physically and spiritually as we have ever been. We are excited that God is on our side and will fight for us and give us strength.

It is wonderful to know that I serve a big God who loves me. It is wonderful to know that no difficulty or hardship is too big for Him. There is nothing going on that He does not know about, care about, and will use to bring me closer to Him and to bring glory to His worthy name. That is pretty much all I can write tonight. God's graciousness deserves a blog post or two. Thank you God for your power and strength.

I shall not die, but live... (Ps. 118:17)

2009-01-16T11:47:00.000-08:00

God has been teaching me so many things lately. I feel like I am drinking out of a fire hydrant and every now and then turned upside down and shaken so I don't drown. :-) Last night I was reading Psalm 118, and this verse, "I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD" really stuck out to me. God is so faithful to let me live and continue learning. Not only am I going to make it through everything alive but as I am going through it and when it is over I will declare the works of the LORD.

So what is the lesson for today? Keep good records of your finances at all times. Know that money isn't about money... it is about your heart. My lesson for today was about money... I mean it was about my heart. :-)

Today I discovered that I had made a costly financial mistake. This morning, before I knew about my mistakes, I was reading in Mark about money. As I was reading, "I thought what does this have to do with me?" Jesus said that it was easier for a camel to walk through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of heaven. I thought, "Wow, that is harsh".

Compared to a lot of people I am very wealthy. I am never hungry (without choosing to be), have a nice bed to sleep in and have tons of shoes to wear. So obviously this passage was referring to me (the rich). Also I knew that I have trouble trusting God instead of things in the world so I re-read the passage.

He says (10:24), "Jesus answereth again, and saith unto them, Children, how hard is it for them that trust in riches to enter into the kingdom of God!" Then I saw, "Wow! That is me". I trust in things, people, education and a bunch of other things before God. He knows this and slowly and surely He is freeing me from trusting these things. One by one, these things are failing and one by one He is proving faithful. I don't know if this post is TMI or not, but anyway if anyone else out there is going through the same thing you can know you aren't alone. I know that God will be faithful. Help me Lord to trust you more because of these difficulties and not less.

"Great Things He Hath Done"

2009-01-15T10:09:00.000-08:00

The other day I was driving along a new road trying to find a Goodwill. As I was driving I turned a corner and a police man stepped out onto the road and directed me into what looked like a subdivision. I saw on the same street several cars all lined up along with several police men. I thought that there must have been an accident and this police man was sending me on a detour or something, but as I was slowly driving away trying to figure out how to be on my way I saw in my mirror the police man waving his arms at me and pointing at the side of the road. I was shocked I hadn't looked at my speedometer for about half a minute but there was no way I was speeding.

He came up to me and asked for my license and proof of insurance. As I handed it to him I asked what the matter was, and why he stopped me. He didn't answer me so I asked again. He said "I clocked you going 33 mph in a 20 mph School Zone". I was shocked.

I saw the flashing school zone sign and it said 35 mph and slowed down accordingly and began to look for where this zone ended. I told the police this. I couldn't believe that he pulled me over, there must have been a mistake. He calmly stated that the 35mph school zone was just before this one and that he would be right back with my ticket. There were three other people in the car with me at the time and none of them saw the 20 sign either. I couldn't believe this.

Well, I got the ticket and I was so upset. Money has never been a big deal to me until really recently, because I want to get my school done so bad and I have had a ton of surprises this semester. So I got very angry and upset about this ticket. I even cursed the cop, not to his face but to God saying that I wish he wouldn't get any sleep that night (that was the worst thing I could think of at the moment). I cried and yelled about the oppression of the government and how a poor college student could never get ahead. It was such a strange thing that I got the ticket, because I was sure that I was obeying the law. I knew there must be a spiritual lesson God wanted to teach me through this.

At the time I couldn't handle it. I was so angry at God for allowing this kind of lesson at this time in my life. Then when He calmed my heart, and helped me bless the cop (to make up for the curse: many nights of peaceful sleep). God began to show me the lessson. Mark Cahill says "Money problems are never about the money, they are about the heart", and he is right.

Through that ticket, Jesus was reminding me how many people go through life thinking that they are doing everything that they should. They don't know that they have broken God's law, they don't know that a very real punishment is in store for them. They zip along, obeying that 35 mph sign unconscious of the 20 mph sign they will be punished for.

Most of us don't lie a lot on purpose. We try not too. Most of us try to honor our parents and try to keep God first in our lives. We try not to covet or lust. We try to forgive almost everyone who offends us. But we don't realize that this is not the standard. So many people are cruising along going 35 in a 20mph zone. Does that make sense?

First, God showed me how blessed I am to know about His perfect law, and to know about what is coming. Then He showed me more blessed I was to have my deserved ticket, for not obeying His law perfectly, paid in full by Jesus Christ. Lastly, He gave me with this ticket a vivid picture/real life experience that will encourage me to tell others about His law and His grace, for months while I am trying to pay it off. :-)

I still wish that the police man had given me mercy, after all, I had never driven on that road before, there were tons of other people being ticketed at the same time as I was (they didn't see any sign either), I was abiding by what I thought was the speed limit, and lastly I am just a poor college student, who doesn't have a job right now. But just as these excuses didn't stand with this cop they cannot stand with God. This cop still had to give me that ticket. The eternal ticket must be paid too. I will not forget this lesson for a long time, I pray it will help kindle the fire in me to tell everyone about Jesus.

When to Leave

2009-01-12T10:09:00.000-08:00

There is nothing like a brother and sister relationship. They are your best friends, they are your comrades, they have been through everything with you. You can trust them. It is a bond so tight that you don't think it is possible to break. So in loving them it feels like loving yourself. They are the ones I could not abandon. I could not let them down. I think that this is right, after God family is important. But the question is was I loving them after God or before Him?

Over the past few weeks God has opened my eyes to something completely new. He has rocked my world and I am not sure what to do with the pieces. I am completely wrong and have been for as long as I can remember. This is one of those posts where you guys are going to think less of me. :-) But it is true and if telling my story will keep you from having to learn the way I did, I welcome those lesser thoughts.

When someone asked Jesus what the greatest commandment is He replied, "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind... And the second [is] like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." I now see that all my life and particularly during the last two years I have "loved" my family before God.

As some of my siblings are moving on, beginning new families and doing new things, I realized that they weren't thinking about what I wanted them to do. They were thinking about their responsibility to God. They wanted to do what is right and to do what He is calling them to do. They were focused on Him, and not on me or anyone else.

I realized this driving home, just the other night, from visiting one of my brothers. I cried and was very upset because I felt betrayed, and I couldn't figure out why. I always knew everyone would go their own way. I always knew this was coming. I knew they would leave but I didn't think they would leave me. I was angry, because I thought it was part of an understood plan that we would all do what was best for everyone else. I thought we were all going to do whatever kept us together, whatever kept us close. They weren't keeping their end of this bargain. They were choosing to answer to God and not to me. It was the end of my little world and oh, thank you LORD that it wasn't any later. This little world needed to die. If only it had been earlier...

The Bible says that if any man is not willing to leave their family to do what God has asked them to do they are not worthy of Him (Matthew 10:37-39). Though we were brought up by our parents and by our siblings they are not all that God has called us to. He has called us to Himself alone, and to be servants and lovers of everyone. We are called to have our own families, and follow God in our new families. We are called to new jobs (sometimes far away). We are called to new activities, we are called to share our faith and glorify God in everything we put our hands to. This is putting God first, this is answering to Him.

Our allegiance to God is greater than our allegiance to anyone else, even our dearest brother or sister. And pleasing Him may involve giving up the comfort of my home, my family, my life. I had everything planned out, everything was going to be OK, but I didn't consider "the guys" commitment to God's will for their lives. I didn't consider that if I didn't leave my family there was no guarantee that they wouldn't leave me. I realize now, thank God, how stupid I have been! How wrong I have been in trying to make other people happy and letting God come second if He comes at all.

I have done so wrong in my idolatry of my family and in my idolatry of people in general. I have rejected the way that God wanted to do things, I have run roughshod over His people. There have been several people in my life who tried to tell me this before and I didn't listen. I am sorry. I am sorry for holding myself and for wishing I could hold others back from what is right to do and good to do, just for my own personal comfort and to keep myself from being uncomfortable. In the beginning of this post I said loving ones brothers and sisters is like loving ones self. It is if you are doing it wrong. Loving people like God calls us to is like loving God. It is knowing that He loves them and has a specific plan for them. It is sending them on their way and going your way when it is right to do so.

And now that my sin is out of the way, I must say that I am so proud of my brothers and sisters for doing right and not asking for any mans approval, but looking to God alone for that approval.

Jesus said, (Mark 3:34-35) "Who is my mother, or my brethren? And he looked round about on them which sat about him, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! For whosoever shall do the will of God, the same is my brother and my sister, and mother." When I can give up my family to do Gods will I will find that I didn't give up my family at all but joined the family of God. Oh, Lord, empower me to do this.

Wild at Heart

2009-01-11T14:42:00.000-08:00

Have read the books Captivating and Wild at Heart, by Staci and John Eldridge. They are well written, easy to read, and over all life changing. Don't be fooled by the warm inviting pictures on the cover. These books are challenging, and convicting!

God showed me that I have been treating the men in my life like they are women. I have been trying to correct them, control them, and eventually mold them into more feminine characters. I have been extremely frustrated with my inability to get the results I desired (Praise God!). What a wicked thing to despise a manly heart! God made men to desire adventure, to take chances and risks, to venture out, to be different from women. Almost in every relationship I have had with a man (brother, father, friend) I have despised, in my heart, their masculinity. Sure I say I like manly men, but when it comes down to it I desire to be able to control when their masculinity shows. This is so true about me... I so wish it wasn't but it is. God forgive me and may the men in my life forgive me too.

Reality. :-)

2009-01-11T14:13:00.000-08:00

So todays post is about reality. The reality that I am tired, physically, mentally, and spiritually. The reality that I have Satan on everyside accusing, condemning, and decieving me. The reality that I have many troubles and am REALLY in trouble if God will not help me. The reality that Christ said He would always be with me even to the end of the world. The reality that He, for sure, will not leave. The reality that I will always have Him and He will always want me (it makes everyday a miracle). Yay!

I hope you get a nap today! Happy Sunday!

The Challenge

2009-01-10T08:23:00.000-08:00

Last night someone challenged me to do every thing today just for Jesus. She knows that people pleasing is a huge temptation for me. She challenged me to do everything even down to brushing my teeth and exercising, just for Him. I have a lot to do today, but I am going to try to take on this challenge. I know I need Christ to be my focus. But it reminds me of what Jesus said to the disciples when they were constantly falling asleep instead of praying, (Matt. 26:41) "...the spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak." Like... really weak.

My friend told me that sanctification is like salvation. It isn't something I do, it is a gift that comes from God. I was like "Oh right! and all this time I have been trying to squeeze it out of myself! What a relief!"

I am excited because God is real and alive! I am excited because I see that in continuing hard after my relationship with Him, He will be able to change me little by little. If He is my goal, and my complete focus then I will be as easy to mold as wet clay. I can't wait for those strong loving, Fatherly hands continue their work on this lump. There is so much for Him to do. :-)

In Matthew, whenever Jesus asked the Pharisee's, they never could answer the way they wanted to because they were so afraid of what the people would think of them. And in this way it kept them from knowing their error which kept them from knowing Christ for who He was. I don't want to be like that anymore, and I don't have to be. Praise God!

Knowing that my flesh and naturally doesn't want to do what God wants it to, I also know that I have a great Savior who wants to work with it. I can be happy, even though I have so much that needs to be changed, He isn't going to leave me, He is going to work with me until I am finished (Phil. 1:6). Until then I will not be perfect and don't have to pretend to be. I can tell people what I am thinking and God can use them to correct me.

Already people have corrected me:

- They have corrected me for pride (oh yes, ouch! This was so painful, but I so needed to hear it.)

- They have corrected me for laziness, and ill pursuit of interests. (productivity low level light is on, big time.)

- and for Double mindedness (God help me! This is so true of me. Please, can this be something you can make a strength, Lord? :-))

I am sure I will get a chance to write about these things later. Thanks for reading!

In Giving Thanks

2009-01-09T09:04:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning feeling wonderful. And it was amazing because really yesterday was a pretty bad day. And really this whole past three months have been pretty bad. With so much going on these days it is easy to get discouraged, and depressed. The politics, economy, jobs (money), churches, relationships, family, etc,... Can you relate?

Depression seems to be one of Satan's favorite devises to disable me, a child of God. Satan probably sees it as a slap in Gods face. But yesterday I saw in my own life how dangerous depression can be. Depression blinded me from seeing (and therefore assisting) others right under my nose, who desperately needed encouragement. It blinded me from all the blessings God has poured out into my life. It stole all the joy in my relationship with God and replaced it with bitterness.

A few times I have come to the point in total depression that I can't think of anything for which to thank God. I know, I know isn't it terrible! What kind of a Christian cannot think of something for which to thank God? Hello, Grace, LIFE. Hello, ETERNAL SALVATION! I obviously was NOT thinking.

During my last semester in school, my math professor found himself in such blind depression to the point that he no longer saw his life as a blessing. He took his own life one night after class. All of his students, though we didn't know him well, were very sad for him. I was grieved that I didn't share the gospel (joy) with him before he decided to do this. And Satan, who hates men, and hates our lives wants depression to drive you and me to the same point as my professor. The ultimate goal of all Satan's devices including depression is death. That is scary.

I have a very dear friend from Nigeria, who has the most joyful, thankful spirit I have ever known. She is the one who introduced me to real African music (beautiful, happy music). :-) It astounds me the way that she can be so cheerful in the midst of difficult situations. She works so hard at school and work that many nights she doesn't get to sleep. I know that she must have at least as many money difficulties as I do and yet I have never heard her complain even once. Also she is very far from her family and isn't even sure when she will see them again... Yet her joyful faith in God's goodness toward her is unshakable. She never seems to be affected by depression or blindness to the gifts God has given her. She has a beautiful trusting relationship with God.

In the Old Testament when the Israelites were setting up the temple they had a whole group of people whose only job was to praise and thank God. That didn't sound like a full time job to me. But apparently it was. In the Psalms (100:4) it says,"Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, [and] into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, [and] bless his name. " The Israelites took thanking God very seriously.

Sometimes I have been so ungrateful and depressed in my heart that it took losing some of those blessings before I knew they were blessings. I think everyone at one time or another knows what it feels like to be in a nice warm shower and all the sudden it turns freezing cold. My first thought is "Umm,...COLD!" Then the shivers come and I think for half a second about waiting it out like a trooper. But as my breathing becomes more rapid and the water more chilling I pop like popcorn out of that shower and start begging people from the door to turn off the hot water. As soon as the heat comes back on I begin to thank God for everything from warm showers and towels to toenail clippers and a toothbrush. All of the sudden I can magically remember all the blessings I have been taking for granted every day, and things no longer seem so dismal.

It wasn't until I realized by the slow disappearance of security, money, school, clothing, books, friends, family, church, etc., how blessed I am. There is one huge blessing (salvation through the blood of Christ, and a real relationship with God Himself) and innumerable little things that I was forgetting/ignoring/walking by each day. Obviously the only way God could get my attention was by taking some of those bigger blessings out of the picture for a while so that I could see the others. I hope that tomorrow when I am tempted to feel depressed I will remember this: That when things are being taken away and they seem to be falling completely apart it is time to look more closely at my life and start saying "Thank you, God". Also I hope to remember to be merciful to everyone in my life who is going through depression. Because there are people who are depressed due to illness (chemical or hormonal imbalance), or particularly difficult times (deaths in the family, ill treatment). If you have been there you know how they feel, and they need lots of hugs (if they are touchy person), kind words (if they are not), special attention and prayer. I want to be one of the people they thank God for when they are feeling better. Yup! I hope I remember these things.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 " In everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."

Psalm 33:1 "Rejoice in the Lord, O ye righteous..."

In NOT Knowing What the Future Holds

2009-01-08T16:32:00.000-08:00

There is a story in the book, "In My Fathers House", by Corrie Ten Boom, about how gracious God is for not letting us see the future as He does. I hope I tell it right, if I don't please let me know. But I think Corrie Ten Boon, as a ten year old, asked her Father one of those questions that parents dread, and never know how to answer. She and her Father were at the time walking to the bus station, and her Father asked her to carry his case (not sure if it was a box or his briefcase) onto the bus. Corrie answered "You know I can't carry it, Dad, it is way to heavy for me". Her Father replied that he knew it was too heavy for her. He explained that God gave Fathers special wisdom to know what is too heavy for their children to bear. He told her that she could trust him to tell her as soon as he knew she could bear it.

Today, I remembered that story. I wish so much that I knew the future. I think it would be wonderful to have a vision or hear from God what exactly will happen in my future, in the future of my family, in the future of my friends. It might be a little scary but after it was over it would be GREAT! But God, my Father, knows that it is too heavy for me.

I have to walk day by day, hour by hour, not knowing what is next but trusting my Father to let me know as I am able to bear it, and to give me the strength for the next moment. In Matthew 6:34, "Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day [is] the evil thereof." These were Jesus' own words to me/us.

Sometimes that is so frustrating, but there it is in plain English. It is not my burden to bear, so why do I constantly try? As a family we have been going through some extreme challenges in these past few weeks, and unfortunately it looks like much more difficult days are ahead. This can be very distressing, but pretending for just a second that I was little Corrie how ridiculous it would be and how much extra strain it cause if I insisted on carrying that heavy briefcase.

Matthew 11:28 - 30, "Come unto me, all [ye] that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke [is] easy, and my burden is light."

Grace for Fear

2009-01-07T08:04:00.000-08:00

If you know me, you know that I am a very fearful person. I am not really scared of snakes, rats, spiders, or scorpions. I am not afraid of fire, water, or heights. But I am terrified of people rejecting me, and you can probably tell that from about a mile away.

It took a new laptop and knowing that no one is reading my blog right now before I would start a blog. Because perchance someone should read it and disagree or even think less of me as a person for what I have written. I know that obviously everyone has people who do not like them. Ten percent of those people might not have a real cause, but I would say ninety percent do. This is a very scary thought for me. I am what you call a "people pleaser".

Everyone admires the men and woman brave enough to stand in the rattlesnake pits at the local Rattlesnake Roundup. And most especially when after the show they pull out their bootlaces, or roll up their shirt sleeves to reveal the deep and ugly scars from previous encounters with one of the deadliest and scariest animals in Texas. Also, don't you think that those Rodeo Clowns, that bravely take the heat for the Cowboy over and over again, are awesome. They get gored and trampled over and over again, and yet somehow always stand up and shake the dust off of their chaps. I think they are not afraid.

But more seriously, what about the martyrs? Who at all ages (as young as 7 years old) and all costs gave their lives just to take a stand for Christ. They were not always killed because they wouldn't renounce their faith, sometimes they were killed just for standing firmly for a specific doctrine. It amazes me, and begs the question could I do that?

I read verses in Matthew 5 saying "Blessed are ye, when [men] shall revile you, and persecute [you], and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great [is] your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you." I think, "This is not me". But I know this fearful attitude in a Christian is wrong. 1st John 4:18 says, "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love." So, is my fear evidence of a heart that is not willing for Christ to make it perfect with His love? As a Christian, I testify that God is real, and in fact more real than I am. I also believe, and say that I believe, that He holds the key to everlasting life and also the key to everlasting damnation. Why is my fear of man greater than my fear of God. This is irrational!

When you keep reading in Matthew 5, Jesus says that if a salt looses its flavor it isn't good for anything, but to be cast out. Well, I know that He is talking about me, and that if I lose my willingness to share, or if I fear men's opinion of me more than Gods I am that salt that lost the fear of the Lord, that lost its flavor.

So my final and most important question is: Will I find His grace when I am afraid, when I am persecuted by my fellow man? Christ offers a life and a death without fear. 1st Corinthians 15:55 "O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?", John 5:24, "Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life." So according to the Scripture I have eternal life now, and no man can take it away from me. God will overcome in my weakness (extreme weakness), He even says that He is able to make it a strength. I think He can too, because He is very strong. We shall see. I am pretty sure time will tell. :-) You just never know, I might be round up some rattlers or take some heat for another guy in a clown suit, I might be a martyr.

One Day At A Time

2009-01-06T19:22:00.000-08:00

Today my youngest brother taught me about Twitter and Blogspot. I thought I would try it out. Feel like I have a lot to share, but am not sure if it would be useful or even interesting. :-) Still it WILL be fun for me. So here it goes.

I am so glad my parents named me Grace. Not only is it a popular name now (oh yea!) but also it reminds me of the grace of God in my life and how desperate I am for His grace.
Today I shared the gospel with two very young Jehovah's Witness'. I was extremely disturbed in my spirit. From what I understood they claimed that Jesus is a god but not the Almighty God. They say that Jesus is the Son of God and therefore not God. This is wicked heresy, to say that Jesus is anything less than God is blasphemy. Jesus said in John 10:30 that he and God are One. Right after the Jews picked up stones and tried to stone him, why? Because He equated Himself with God. The Jews were Jehovah's Witness', they didn't believe Jesus was God either, but that is what He testified to, and that is what He said He was. Since He isn't able to lie, I can know that He is God. At first all of this questioning of God's truthfulness disturbed me into shaking and nausea, but Gods grace on my life is incomparable. With His truth He brings peace, and wicked men/women or evil lies have no part with Him. As those verses in chapter 10 of John say He will keep me because He is greater than all. He will not lose one of His sheep. This is God's grace on my life. How good it is! To God be the glory great things He has done, is doing and will do.