Am I a Soldier?

My least favorite class this semester has been history class... but I must say that I have learned far more than I expected to in this class. My professor doesn't give his three hour lectures on how bad the church is anymore, instead he plugs in three hour PBS documentaries on early American History. There are times I confess I have almost fell asleep, and I know that is really rude, so I started to practice drawing on the subjects that we are learning about. That helped me focus a lot better on the subject matter (believe it or not. i am becoming quite the multi-tasker)... and I get to spend three hours a week drawing.

Besides learning how to make the eyes on a head look more realistic I am also learning other things. Last week we were studying the Civil War and one person who was famous really stuck out to me.

General "Stonewall" Jackson really caught my attention. I always knew that he was a devout man but not much more than that. God has used Jackson's testimony to teach me about being a soldier of the Lord.

Jackson was not well loved by his soldiers, but they were loyal to him because he won battles. He was an extremely strict disciplinarian. One of his officers said, "Jackson would have a man shot at the drop of a hat, and usually he drops the hat." He also believed that you didn't "fight" your enemy you "crushed" your enemy. He was an observer of the Sabbath. While Jackson would fight battles on a Sunday he would "observe" the Sabbath on another day of the week. :-) Jackson was nicknamed "Stonewall" because he stood like a stone wall before his enemies and the most fearsome of circumstances. His men reported that he had absolutely no fear of death. This fact about Jackson struck me the most.

Jackson's testimony of his devotion to the Lord (even when it wasn't convenient, or attractive), the way in which he fought (not toying with the enemey but destroying it) and his lack of fear of death really encouraged and challenged me. Through this class the Lord has really opened my eyes to some sins that I had not really considered before taking this class. There have been times at work when it wasn't convenient to tell people about what the Lord was doing in my life through difficult circumstances about which they asked. Also in dealing with sin that the Lord has pointed out to me, I noticed that I have been almost toying with it in the way I "fight" it. I have not been putting my sin to death with "crushing" blows. Lastly, and one of the most convicting, I have feared death, not physical death, but death to myself, death to my life, my plans, my way. I have feared and not trusted the Lord. Jackson's testimony reminded me that there is no fear in giving ones life to the Lord and to His service. He will care for me, but I must surrender to Him and bow my will to His supreme authority. Oh for grace to trust Him more. He has given me grace to be an obedient and good soldier, now I must seize it.

All through my class I remembered that song "Am I a Soldier of the Cross." And throughout this week I will continue to remember this song and this question. Am I truly siding with the Lord, and fighting with Him and not against Him? Am I being a good soldier of the Cross?

Jackson's testimony was so good to hear. Once again, thank You God for this history class and this history professor! It has been an EXCELLENT semester... one of the best yet.

"This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth... Wherefore doth a living man complain, a man for the punishment of his sins? Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the LORD. Let us lift up our heart with [our] hands unto God in the heavens." Lamentations 3:21-41

I am expecting some harsh critizism from you, my friends, for drawing in class instead of taking notes. So please don't dissapoint me!

Hope you have a wonderful week! God bless you guys!