Grace for Fear

If you know me, you know that I am a very fearful person. I am not really scared of snakes, rats, spiders, or scorpions. I am not afraid of fire, water, or heights. But I am terrified of people rejecting me, and you can probably tell that from about a mile away.

It took a new laptop and knowing that no one is reading my blog right now before I would start a blog. Because perchance someone should read it and disagree or even think less of me as a person for what I have written. I know that obviously everyone has people who do not like them. Ten percent of those people might not have a real cause, but I would say ninety percent do. This is a very scary thought for me. I am what you call a "people pleaser".

Everyone admires the men and woman brave enough to stand in the rattlesnake pits at the local Rattlesnake Roundup. And most especially when after the show they pull out their bootlaces, or roll up their shirt sleeves to reveal the deep and ugly scars from previous encounters with one of the deadliest and scariest animals in Texas. Also, don't you think that those Rodeo Clowns, that bravely take the heat for the Cowboy over and over again, are awesome. They get gored and trampled over and over again, and yet somehow always stand up and shake the dust off of their chaps. I think they are not afraid.

But more seriously, what about the martyrs? Who at all ages (as young as 7 years old) and all costs gave their lives just to take a stand for Christ. They were not always killed because they wouldn't renounce their faith, sometimes they were killed just for standing firmly for a specific doctrine. It amazes me, and begs the question could I do that?

I read verses in Matthew 5 saying "Blessed are ye, when [men] shall revile you, and persecute [you], and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great [is] your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you." I think, "This is not me". But I know this fearful attitude in a Christian is wrong. 1st John 4:18 says, "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love." So, is my fear evidence of a heart that is not willing for Christ to make it perfect with His love? As a Christian, I testify that God is real, and in fact more real than I am. I also believe, and say that I believe, that He holds the key to everlasting life and also the key to everlasting damnation. Why is my fear of man greater than my fear of God. This is irrational!

When you keep reading in Matthew 5, Jesus says that if a salt looses its flavor it isn't good for anything, but to be cast out. Well, I know that He is talking about me, and that if I lose my willingness to share, or if I fear men's opinion of me more than Gods I am that salt that lost the fear of the Lord, that lost its flavor.

So my final and most important question is: Will I find His grace when I am afraid, when I am persecuted by my fellow man? Christ offers a life and a death without fear. 1st Corinthians 15:55 "O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?", John 5:24, "Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life." So according to the Scripture I have eternal life now, and no man can take it away from me. God will overcome in my weakness (extreme weakness), He even says that He is able to make it a strength. I think He can too, because He is very strong. We shall see. I am pretty sure time will tell. :-) You just never know, I might be round up some rattlers or take some heat for another guy in a clown suit, I might be a martyr.