When to Leave

There is nothing like a brother and sister relationship. They are your best friends, they are your comrades, they have been through everything with you. You can trust them. It is a bond so tight that you don't think it is possible to break. So in loving them it feels like loving yourself. They are the ones I could not abandon. I could not let them down. I think that this is right, after God family is important. But the question is was I loving them after God or before Him?



Over the past few weeks God has opened my eyes to something completely new. He has rocked my world and I am not sure what to do with the pieces. I am completely wrong and have been for as long as I can remember. This is one of those posts where you guys are going to think less of me. :-) But it is true and if telling my story will keep you from having to learn the way I did, I welcome those lesser thoughts.




When someone asked Jesus what the greatest commandment is He replied, "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind... And the second [is] like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." I now see that all my life and particularly during the last two years I have "loved" my family before God.




As some of my siblings are moving on, beginning new families and doing new things, I realized that they weren't thinking about what I wanted them to do. They were thinking about their responsibility to God. They wanted to do what is right and to do what He is calling them to do. They were focused on Him, and not on me or anyone else.





I realized this driving home, just the other night, from visiting one of my brothers. I cried and was very upset because I felt betrayed, and I couldn't figure out why. I always knew everyone would go their own way. I always knew this was coming. I knew they would leave but I didn't think they would leave me. I was angry, because I thought it was part of an understood plan that we would all do what was best for everyone else. I thought we were all going to do whatever kept us together, whatever kept us close. They weren't keeping their end of this bargain. They were choosing to answer to God and not to me. It was the end of my little world and oh, thank you LORD that it wasn't any later. This little world needed to die. If only it had been earlier...





The Bible says that if any man is not willing to leave their family to do what God has asked them to do they are not worthy of Him (Matthew 10:37-39). Though we were brought up by our parents and by our siblings they are not all that God has called us to. He has called us to Himself alone, and to be servants and lovers of everyone. We are called to have our own families, and follow God in our new families. We are called to new jobs (sometimes far away). We are called to new activities, we are called to share our faith and glorify God in everything we put our hands to. This is putting God first, this is answering to Him.





Our allegiance to God is greater than our allegiance to anyone else, even our dearest brother or sister. And pleasing Him may involve giving up the comfort of my home, my family, my life. I had everything planned out, everything was going to be OK, but I didn't consider "the guys" commitment to God's will for their lives. I didn't consider that if I didn't leave my family there was no guarantee that they wouldn't leave me. I realize now, thank God, how stupid I have been! How wrong I have been in trying to make other people happy and letting God come second if He comes at all.





I have done so wrong in my idolatry of my family and in my idolatry of people in general. I have rejected the way that God wanted to do things, I have run roughshod over His people. There have been several people in my life who tried to tell me this before and I didn't listen. I am sorry. I am sorry for holding myself and for wishing I could hold others back from what is right to do and good to do, just for my own personal comfort and to keep myself from being uncomfortable. In the beginning of this post I said loving ones brothers and sisters is like loving ones self. It is if you are doing it wrong. Loving people like God calls us to is like loving God. It is knowing that He loves them and has a specific plan for them. It is sending them on their way and going your way when it is right to do so.





And now that my sin is out of the way, I must say that I am so proud of my brothers and sisters for doing right and not asking for any mans approval, but looking to God alone for that approval.


Jesus said, (Mark 3:34-35) "Who is my mother, or my brethren? And he looked round about on them which sat about him, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! For whosoever shall do the will of God, the same is my brother and my sister, and mother." When I can give up my family to do Gods will I will find that I didn't give up my family at all but joined the family of God. Oh, Lord, empower me to do this.